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Yes, she fucking was. I liked it more than I should.
“Dinneres bueno, is good.”
What in the hell was I doing?
8
Sugar
I wanted to hide from the world. Crawl into a dark corner where I could cry and lament my messed-up life. I went from wishing I’d see Art to hoping I didn’t. I felt guilty for how I left things after Wolf caught me coming out of Art’s room. Then to make matters worse, I steered clear of him last night, totally ignoring him as if he didn’t exist.
I hated myself for treating him so coldly.
But I kept going back and forth, giving myself whiplash each time I changed my mind. What we wanted wasn’t possible, right? We needed to accept it and move on, right?
Don’t be stupid, Eve. You don’t want him to accept anything. You want Art to hold on to you with a death grip.
I did.
To love someone I couldn’t be with was a curse of the ninth degree.
A heartbreaking, soul-crushing, mother-effing curse.
I glowered at myself in the mirror as I fastened my hair into a messy, mom bun. Tina had texted this morning to see how I was doing. She’d elbowed me when Art had left the bar, then never returned the rest of the night. I’d played off her concern like I was perfectly fine.
I wasn’t anywhere close to okay after throwing back Jack and Cokes like it was water, hoping and praying it would numb my emotions and the pain in my heart.
Art’s unfailing determination warmed me from the inside out. I didn’t deserve to be so intensely desired.
I’d already experienced the love of a lifetime with the most priceless husband—albeit for a short time. I should be grateful—I was beyond grateful.
I shouldn’t be so fortunate to strike gold twice.
So why was the universe fucking with my emotions? Why put Art in my path? Or was it me who’d been put in his path? I’d likely never know.
Perhaps there was no one to blame. Or I’d unknowingly encouraged Art. Gave him the wrong impression that I was available.
But you are available, Eve.
I groaned at my inner voice and went downstairs to the kitchen. If I was absent, Storm would start asking questions. Rumors might find their way throughout the clubhouse. My boys and Storm might put two and two together, then all hell would break loose.
Just hold it together, Eve.
“Good morning,” I said in a cheery voice as I entered the kitchen. Thankfully, Tina was the only one there. Nothing unusual about it after karaoke night. The kittens didn’t usually come around on Saturdays until the evening.
She smiled softly. “Good morning, honey. How are you?”
“I’ve been better.” I observed the ingredients on the island. “Is this for waffles?”
“Yup. Thought the guys would like it before they left for their meeting with Deek.”
My stomach churned. I was still angry at Art for standing up to me. It was stupid of me to think because I was older than him, I could flex my mature-woman muscles, and he’d obey. My age hadn’t mattered. He’d shown he was more mature and dedicated to the club than I’d realized.
“I’ll make the batter. But first, I need coffee.” I went to grab a cup.
“Have you decided what you’ll do about… y’know?”
I filled my mug, then leaned against the counter. “I thought I had decided.”
