Page 19 of Looking Back


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“Hey, he’s hurting. That’s why he doesn’t mention me. He’ll come around. You’ll see.” I needed to calm Johnny down, assure him things would get back to normal soon. Or so I hoped they would. The last thing I wanted was for my little brother to go off the deep end. Since momma died, Johnny hadn’t done well controlling himself. He was a reactor, often an emotional one.

“He’s a selfish jackass. Only thinks of himself.” He guzzled his root beer.

“Don’t you think I’m selfish? I chose Matt over everyone else.” My family meant the world to me. I wanted them in my life, but I refused to give up Matt to please my dad.

Johnny considered my words. “You shouldn’t have to choose between your family and the guy you love, sis. That’s a bunch of crap. You’d never put me in that position.”

“You’re right. I wouldn’t.”

He wiped his hands and mouth on a napkin. “Shit, Eve. I hope you mean that.” His face sagged.

“Of course I mean it. What’s wrong?”

“I did something stupid. God, I’m such an imbecile.”

I held my breath, willing myself to not freak out. I felt it in my bones. Whatever Johnny was about to tell me would be freak-out-worthy. “Go on.”

He buried his face in his hands. “I had unprotected sex.”

Oh boy.

He raised his hand. “I know what you told me. Never go bare.”

“Then why did you? I’ve only reminded you a million times.”

Johnny groaned. “It was the chick. She got me so turned on, I didn’t even think about it.”

“Do you know how many babies have been created in the heat of the moment?”

“Fuck! I don’t need this shit. Not when college hockey scouts are watching me.”

“Okay. Let’s not freak out. When was this? Maybe you’ll get lucky and she doesn’t end up pregnant.”

“Wow, sis. Way to make a guy feel better.”

I winced. “Sorry.”

The roar of engines drew both of our attention. I peered out the window. Matt and his crew were back.

“You can’t tell him what a fuckup I am. He’ll think I’m a baby for letting an older woman control me.”

I nearly broke my neck, turning toward him. “Older woman? Who?”

He slumped in his chair. “I can’t tell you.”

“Johnny, you better tell me. Who is it?”

The back door opened. Matt entered with a black eye and blood on his shirt.

“Oh my God!” I flew out of my chair. “What the hell happened to you?”

“I’m fine, baby.” Matt dropped a kiss on my forehead. “I need to clean up.” He jerked his chin at Johnny on his way out. “What’s up?”

“Not as much as with you,” the little twirp replied. If only that were true. Sex with an “older woman” was a huge fucking deal, especially if he’d knocked her up.

I wasn’t sure what to do while I watched the others come in looking the worse for wear. My concern for Matt drove me to follow him, but Johnny’s pathetic face kept me in the kitchen.

I took my seat beside my brother. “Who is she?”

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