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Not that there was anything there.
Surely Kelly’s told her sister.
But I can’t assume that.
I stare at the screen, my woman’s subtle cleavage, and the innocent bright youthfulness in her magnetic smile. My manhood pulses, shaft thundering, seed hotly rushing up and down my length.
A moment later, a message comes through.
What time?
It’s Jennifer. I’m almost panting, thinking of her on my tattoo chair, just the two of us.
What time works for you?
I click send, then wait.
Three PM?
Done.
I leave it at that, closing the laptop, looking over at the dogs to find Lucifer awake and watching me.
Sometimes, when I look at my dead brother’s dog – my dog now – it’s like I can see him.
Matt, I see him watching me instead, curiosity in his eyes. I imagine him scratching at the dagger tattoo on his forearm.
“Why are you doing this, brother? You can’t bring her into your life. You can’t tell her the truth about how you feel. She’ll never want her sister’s ex. And definitely not in the way you want her.”
For life….
Ignoring Matt’s phantom voice – it’s hard – I stand and walk into the garden. Benny stirs and follows me, causing Lucifer to grumble a little, though he remains where he is.
I sit down, Benny at my side, my hand stroking over his neck and head.
“Tomorrow, boy,” I say softly.
Tomorrow – I’ll look into her eyes and see nothing there, casual disinterest, eagerness to get her tattoo done, but nothing like what I’m feeling.
But it all depends on what Kelly told her.
What if it’s worse than nothing?
What if Jennifer hates me, and that’s the only reason she arranged the appointment?
To tell me as much.
I close my eyes, groaning.
My thoughts won’t stop.
Jennifer Jennifer Jennifer….
And the craziest part is, I don’t want them to stop.
CHAPTER
FIVE
Jennifer
I approach the tattoo studio, my hands crossed over my middle.
An insane thought strikes me, completely crazy.
My hands crossed like this, over my pregnant belly, protectively laid across, with all the love in the world surging inside me. Jamie walks up behind me, places his hand on my shoulder, and looks down with that supportive smile.
That supportive smile.
As if I’ve seen it before. As if I could even imagine it.
Kelly called this morning, telling me things were going well with Cormac Junior, and she’s going to spend the day with him before returning to work tomorrow.
I had plenty of chances to tell her the truth about Jamie, about the tattoo.
It would’ve been so easy.
You won’t believe this, Sis, but Jamie has a spot open. Do you mind if I take it?
But I didn’t say that, and now I’m walking across the lobby. There are photos of tattoos all over the walls and a pleasant clean smell in the air. I reach the receptionist’s desk. I’m breathing way too hard, my heart fluttering.
It’s a warm day, and despite the AC in here, I can feel sweat sliding down my body. The air conditioning soon starts cooling it, making my dress stick to me.
“I’m here to see Jamie,” I say.
The receptionist – an older lady with dyed hair and sleeve tattoos – nods at me. “You are…Jennifer, yes?”
“Yeah,” I say, nodding back.
“Jennifer Evans?”
She leaves that hanging there, and then it hits me.
She must know about Kelly, about the breakup.
“I’m here for a tattoo,” I say, hoping that clarifies things.
I’m here to see Jamie.
That makes it sound like I want to jump him the moment I see him, which I do. But she doesn’t need to know that.
“I’ve got an afternoon appointment.”
“Ah, I see,” the woman smiles. “For a second there, I thought – but it doesn’t matter.”
I return her smile, even if part of me wants to snap at her. This is difficult enough as it is without her making it worse.
The thought trails away when I think of Kelly. Fine, she’s with a new man now, having the time of her life, but it doesn’t change the fact I haven’t told her I’m here.
“I didn’t mean anything by it,” the woman goes on. “I just…I’m sorry. Sometimes my mouth works quicker than my brain.”
“It’s fine,” I tell her. “I really am just here for a tattoo.”
“If you’ll take a seat, he’ll be down shortly.”
I walk to the far corner, sitting in a chair near the door as if I’m getting ready to run the moment things get awkward.
As I wait, looking around at the photos on the walls or down at my hands, I think about the night Kelly came home after breaking up with Jamie. How hopeless she looked…and how she wouldn’t talk about it after, as though their connection was too painful to acknowledge.
What if she still wants Jamie, despite this new man?
Then it’s a good thing you’re only here for a tattoo.
I hold onto that voice, telling myself it’s true.
But then the door opens, and Jamie walks in.
