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“I told her I didn’t have to tag along.”
I remember her saying that bashfully, her voice catching toward the end, looking at me with her bangs hanging low as though to protect herself. She was brimming with shyness and sexiness all mixed together, especially when she adjusted her dress, causing those thick thighs to jiggle for me.
Now I laugh gruffly, opening my car door.
What’s my plan?
Go up there, tell her I want her, tell her I wanted her even all those times when I was at parties with her sister?
I make myself get in the car and drive away from her, but it feels like a piece of me is being left behind.
Matt would probably laugh at that, asking me when I’ve become so sappy.
But it’s the truth.
I ache for her.
Moving through the city, I remind myself I can’t do this again. I can’t randomly drive to my ex-girlfriend’s house for the sole reason of catching a glimpse of her sister.
I’m aware that’s a problem.
After driving home and collecting the dogs from Mr. Abignale’s house, I walk them around the block, doing my best to smile and be sociable with the other dog walkers.
But all I can think about is my Jennifer, dissecting every moment I’ve ever seen her.
I remember one time, she was standing across the room speaking with another woman, her hands wrapped around her glass and her sleeves pulled up. She looked so cute, attractive, and sexy all at once as if she was waiting for me to walk over, lean down, softly tug at her wrist and wrap my arms around her.
Lucifer stops, the little Chihuahua sniffing the hell out of a street lamp. Benny sits patiently, as he always does, looking up at me with his clever eyes.
“I don’t know what to do, boy,” I tell him, scratching him under the ear.
I leave out the next part.
I think I’m losing my mind.
Back at home, I work out and then check my laptop, meaning to arrange my workday for tomorrow.
Lucifer lies on his back on the couch, his feet twitching, with Benny sprawled out next to him.
I wish I could show Matt a photo of them. Lucifer and Benny never got along when he was alive, but now that they live together, they’ve become friends. Lucifer was Matt’s dog before….
Well, before all that pain.
A shudder grips me, a pulsing roaring feeling, as I look at the pending appointments. I’ve got dozens, partly because of my skill and partly because of my connections.
It’s a novelty for some folk to be tattooed by Jamie Jensen.
I don’t care about anybody else.
Only her.
Jennifer.
In the description box, she talks about wanting a simple heart with Mom and Dad tattooed around it. Kelly told me her parents died in a plane crash, but there was no emotion. She wasn’t crying or anything like that.
It was a blunt way of telling me, communicating the cold facts as she did.
Of all the tattooists in the city, why would Jennifer choose her sister’s ex-boyfriend?
It makes me wonder if Kelly’s told her the truth.
I try to tell myself to click decline. It’s the button I’ll be forced to click for most of these since my schedule is so full… perhaps I could work overtime, but I can only sit still for so long, only focus before the gunshots and the blood and the past catches up to me.
But there’s no way I can really tell her no.
She wants to see me.
For a tattoo, fine, but it means we’ll be together. If only for a little while.
Has she told Kelly about this appointment?
I’m assuming she must have. She knows I won’t say anything.
Except….
How long can I keep the secret?
If I start a relationship with Jennifer – the term feels too flimsy to describe all this hunger – I’ll be forced to reveal the truth eventually. I can’t lie to the future mother of my children, but it’s not my place, either, to shatter the secret Kelly’s holding.
“Decline,” I whisper, moving my cursor over and over the button.
Trying to make myself do it. And failing.
I click Accept and then send her a message through the system.
Hey, Jennifer. I’ve actually got a spot open tomorrow afternoon if you’re interested.
I almost add an X, a kiss, then stop myself, clicking send.
It’s a lie. I’m booked full tomorrow. But I’ll find time for her.
Instinct drives me now.
Like a reflex, I move to her Facebook page. Her profile photo shows her at the end of the last college semester, standing outside the library, turning and smiling in surprise at the camera. She’s wearing a frilly top, making her look like a gift, begging for me to unwrap.
Strip her naked, pull the front of her shirt down, and reveal her bra. Then savagely tear that away, so her breasts spill out.
My cock hardens, more excitement rushing through me than I ever felt for Kelly.
