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Rain drippeddown my face and mixed with my tears, but I didn’t stop.
I couldn’t.
With no particular destination in mind, I’d walked out of the school and kept walking. At some point, I’d stopped at a trash can and shredded the incriminating photo into a hundred tiny pieces before scattering them inside. And then I’d walked some more.
Nothing interfered with my mindless journey until a car slowed down, but I didn’t turn to look.
“Becca, get in the car.” Evan’s voice was soft, but it didn’t reach me, not this time. “Becca.” The car rolled forward, keeping up with me as I increased my pace.
“Go away, Evan.”
“Get in the damn car.” He sounded annoyed now. Well, good for him.
The car slammed to a halt, and a door opened. I didn’t glance back. I didn’t look up when Evan stepped in front of me or wrapped his arms around me, forcing me to a stop. “Becca, talk to me.”
I responded with silence.
“Fine.” He guided me to his car, having to practically force me inside. And I let him, my body drained of energy, of fight… of everything.
When we pulled up outside his house two minutes later, it occurred to me that maybe that’s where I’d been walking, but it didn’t matter. Not anymore.
“Come on.”
I complied, but only because it was easier, and I was cold and tired. And I really didn’t want to go home and explain to Mom why I had bailed on school and spent the morning walking around Credence in the torrential rain.
Evan was silent as he let us into his house. Lilly would have said he was brooding. Maybe he was. He led me to his bedroom, and when the door clicked shut behind us, I flinched. It was different from every other time I’d been here. There was no lust, no urgency between us. Evan left me standing there, arms holding myself together, while he fetched me a black hoodie.
“Here, put this on.”
I took it and turned away from him, but he said, “I’ll let you get changed and make some coffee.” The door opening and closing alerted me to his departure, and I slipped out of my soggy clothes, sliding Evan’s hoodie over my body. It drowned my frame. I climbed onto his bed and shuffled back. Waiting. When he finally returned, two mugs of coffee in hand, our eyes locked.
Maybe it was being out of the cold, wet clothes or being here in Evan’s room, but I crashed back to reality.
“Why? Why me? What did I ever do to her?” Ugly sobs wracked through me as I hugged myself tighter, pressing back into the headboard of his bed.
Evan’s face twisted with unspoken emotion, and he dragged a hand over the scruff that had grown over his jaw. “Because she’s a fucking evil bitch.”
The venom in his voice should have shocked me, should have stirred a hundred questions in me, but she’d finally done it… Kendall O’Hare had broken me in a way I never thought possible. I’d been worried that my secret would come out. That somehow my past would catch up with me. And it finally had.
“I hate her. I hate this godforsaken place. I just want to go home.”
The bed dipped beside me, and Evan reached for my hands, tugging them away from my face. “You don’t mean that.”
He was right. I didn’t.
Even after everything, I knew I had nowhere else to go. Credence was my home now. That was the stupid thing—I never wanted to step foot back in Montecito again. It housed too many dark moments. But I was done trying to paint on a brave smile and walk down the hallways of Credence High pretending to be someone I wasn’t.
“Becca…”
My eyes met Evan’s. He looked tired. Was that because of me? The constant looking out for me, sheltering me from Kendall and her crew. Or maybe it was his mom and Eli. Or both. Either way, Evan had enough to deal with without adding an unstable girlfriend to his list of burdens.
Was I even his girlfriend?
We hadn’t put a label on us. In fact, every time I tried to give myself to him, he shut me down. He usually distracted me by other means, but the fact remained that Evan refused to take the next step with me.
“Why don’t you want me?” My voice was small, barely audible in between sobs.
“Fuck, Becca, you want to have this conversation, right now?”
