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I nodded, feeling the sting of his stern tone. But I wanted to know. Ineededto know. Evan raked a hand over his face and dropped his gaze to the bed. Fear unfurled in my stomach, leaving me hollow. What if, after all this, he really didn’t feel the same?
His eyes snapped back to mine, and I gulped, the storm swirling in his depths.
“I promised myself I’d stay away from you, but you made it so difficult. I don’t let people in, Becca. My life, it’s… complicated. You’re smart. Better than this shithole. You’ll go off to college and make something of yourself. I’m—”
Rocking onto my knees, I shuffled over to him. “Evan, don’t—”
“It’s true.” He backed away from my touch. “I don’t deserve someone like you, and you can certainly do better than someone like me.”
Ignoring his resistance, I slid my hand along his jaw and leaned forward, sealing my lips over his. Evan tensed, and for a second, I thought he might reject me, but relief washed over me when he looped his arms around me and dragged me onto his lap. My legs dropped to either side of his as he deepened the kiss, each stroke of his tongue an affirmation that he did feel the same. Somewhere deep down inside, he wanted me the way I wanted him—he just didn’t feel worthy.
But neither was I.
Only, even now, I couldn’t tell him that.
“I don’t want better,” I murmured into his mouth, unwilling to break the kiss. Evan responded to my declaration, gripping my hips and pushing me down onto him. Even through our jeans, I could feel him hard against my stomach.
Silently, Evan lifted me up and spun me around, laying me on the bed and hovering over me. Even now, his uncertainty glittered in his eyes, but then he started to undress me. His hoodie went first followed by my damp sneakers and jeans. His t-shirt and jeans joined the puddle of clothes and then he was pressed against me, skin on skin, kissing me like I was the air he breathed.
“You never told me.” He pulled back, gazing at me with such intensity my stomach coiled tightly.
“It wasn’t something I wanted to advertise.” Fitting in had been hard enough without announcing my riches to rags status.
“You thought people would judge you?”
“Didn’t they?”
His eyes flashed with something, and he kissed me again. “You could have told me.”
“Does it matter that I didn’t?”
“No.” Evan’s tongue slipped past my lips and slid against my own, coaxing me back to him.
When I’d reached the locker bank, I had almost turned around and run, but I couldn’t escape Credence High… or Kendall O’Hare. So with wavering defiance, I’d opened my locker, ignoring the various photos of me. Some in my Montecito Prep uniform, others at parties or school events. There were even some of me on the Rosens’ yacht. And I’d almost made it. Until my eyes fell on the single image pinned inside my locker. I didn’t have to look closely to remember that night. It was the very reason I’d ended up here.
“Becca?”
I couldn’t take back what I’d done. I knew that much. But I could erase the night that led me to that point. I could replace the biggest regret of my life with something else. Something I wanted more than anything.
“I want you, Evan.” The words fell from my lips like a prayer, the air charged around us as he stared at me with so much mixed emotion it made my stomach churn.
“Please,” I whispered. “I need this. I need… you.”
CHAPTER34
We becamea tangle of limbs as our lips crashed together. Dipping his head between us, Evan’s lips traced the curve of my bra, and I shivered as tingles broke out along my skin. His fingers walked around my rib cage to my back, and he unclasped my bra, dragging it from my body. Confident hands traced down my waist and found the edge of my panties. Slipping inside, he curled a finger into me and then another while he sucked my nipple into his mouth.
“Oh God.” The words spilled out, overwhelmed with the feel of his touch.
His mouth.
His fingers.
Pressing his thumb against my clit, I dropped my head back as my stomach coiled tighter and tighter until I was panting his name, begging him to give me what I needed most. An orgasm crashed over me without warning, and Evan drowned out my moans with a kiss. When my heart finally evened out, he pressed one more kiss to my lips before rocking back onto his knees, taking my panties with him. He stood at the edge of the bed, slid off his boxer-briefs, and fumbled around with his jeans, retrieving a condom from his wallet. I watched through lust-filled eyes as he rolled it on and crawled back over me.
“Are you sure?” His voice was thick, and I nodded.
Reaching out, I slid my hands over his shoulders and crushed him to me. Evan hitched my legs around his waist and pressed into me, seeking silent permission. My eyes snapped to his, and I answered with a kiss.
