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“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure of that.”
“Good. What’s the plan for now?”
“Now? I take a bottle of bourbon from the kitchen and get black out drunk, try to forget the fact that my entire family got killed last night.”
He looks at me funny again. “That’s the most emotion I’ve ever seen you show,” he says. “Maybe you have got a soul in there after all.”
“Don’t mock me.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He glances at his watch. “Much as I’d like to stay and finish this fine meal, I better get back. A lot of planning to do.” He walks around the table, holding a hand out toward me. “Take care of yourself,” he says while we shake. His skin feels more wrinkled than last time we shook. “You die and there goes my pension plan.”
“Glad you care about me that much.”
He walks over to the door, turning around to say, “Be nice to her,” before walking out.
I sit back in my chair. I don’t feel hungry. I push the plate away, getting to my feet and walking into the kitchen. Eva is there with the kitchen staff. “Everything all right, sir?” she asks.
I ignore her, grabbing a bottle from the shelf along with one of the heavy crystal glasses. I carry both out, walking upstairs to my bedroom.
Down the corridor, Anna is in her room, locked inside. She’ll be hungry.
A part of me wants to go to her, take her a meal, tell her it’s going to be all right. I can’t do it. She’s a Piper. That’s all she is. Nothing more.
I drink. It’s the only way to silence the little voice in the back of my mind. It keeps telling me that Alessandro is right.
I could keep her. I could keep our child. We could be a family.
Not going to happen. I get halfway down the bottle, but that voice is still talking to me. You like her, it says. I remember that first moment I saw her in Frank’s grocery store. I was arranging the meeting, and she was at the end of the aisle, pricing up cans of beans.
She took my breath away. One look at her and I knew I was in love. It hit me like a freight train. I couldn’t stop myself from walking toward her.
She scuttled off like a kicked cat when that announcement came over the store speakers.
Lucky for her that she did. Gave me a chance to get a hold of myself. I don’t fall in love. I don’t believe in any of that love at first sight bullshit. She was just a beautiful woman and lust overruled my emotions in that moment. That was all. Back then, I had no idea she was Piper’s daughter.
I keep drinking, doing my best to silence that voice in the back of my mind. I don’t doubt myself. I don’t second guess myself. I know exactly what I’m doing at all times.
This is about revenge. Nothing else. I will fuck her. I will get her pregnant. But I will not keep her around one moment more than I need to. I will get rid of her. I have to. If I don’t, all of this will be for nothing. I will not get my revenge.
I have to do it. It’s as simple as that. I must not trust my current feelings toward her. They are lying to me. Same as that voice in my head is lying. I do not love her. I do not love anyone. I use people. It’s how I got to the top. It’s how you win in my business. You don’t get attached to anything. People are objects to be used, then tossed aside.
The voice whispers to me again. What about Sophie’s toys in the attic? Going to throw them out? They’re just objects. Why not get rid of them?
I drink straight from the bottle. It’s the only way to silence that voice. The drunker I get, the quieter it gets until it’s finally gone.
I stagger out of the room a couple of hours later. I’m going to need more booze if I’m going to sleep tonight. The voice isn’t gone completely. I know it’s still there, waiting to whisper in my ear when my defenses fall. I won’t let it win.
I will win. I will get my revenge.
I do not care about Anna White. I do not love her. I am using her. That is all there is to say on the matter. I will not keep the child. I have no interest in raising a family. All I care about is revenge. That’s all.
Thirteen
Anna
* * *
Ihide out in my bedroom. Weird to think I’m even calling it that. This isn’t my bedroom. It isn’t even my house.
