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Do I tell him I want more than our short term thing? I really should. I can’t keep him thinking I’m only here for the money or for my own safety. That might have been true when we first met, but already my position has changed. I’m starting to feel things for him, things that I’ve not felt for anyone before.
He still pisses me off, like when he goes out, leaving me without a clue where he’s going. But that doesn’t happen that often or for that long. He’s spending more and more time with me and it might not last but for now, I’m not complaining. Especially seeing as he’s spending every night with me.
That gets me thinking about the morning sex. The sleepy wake up next to each other, barely awake, eyes half shut sex. I’ve never had that with anyone before either.
It’s been a relationship of firsts.
Is that what this is? A relationship? Or is it like he told me, just a business transaction?
Does he just see me as a surrogate providing him with a child? No, surely not. He wouldn’t do what he did tonight if that was the case. Allowing me to live out a fantasy I never thought I’d fulfill. Sex outside. Not just sex. Fantastic sex. If I wasn’t already pregnant, that would have got me there tonight. There was something about it that made me feel completely connected to him.
I’m so lost in thought that I barely notice my phone ringing. It takes several seconds of music blasting out for me to pinpoint that it’s coming from my handbag under my chair.
I reach down and pull out my phone. It’s mom’s number flashing on the screen. “Hello,” I say, pressing it to my ear. “Mom? That you?”
“Who else do you think it would be calling from my number?” Her voice is weak but it’s definitely her. I can almost see the smile on her face. “What’s black and white and widely read?”
“I don’t know, mom.”
“A roadkill penguin.” She laughs down the line.
“You’re on the mend then.”
“Going to have a plate in my head. Halfway to being bionic, baby.”
“Glad you’re doing okay. When do you get out of hospital?”
“I’m out. I’m in some luxury private health spa that’s straight out of a movie. People keep bringing me juice and croissants. I’m surprised no one’s offered to wipe my ass yet.”
“You’re doing all right, then?”
“I’m better than all right. I might just live here from now on. Won’t have to listen to your father’s snoring anymore. I asked him if this is on our insurance plan and he just told me I’d need to speak to you about all that so here I am. What’s the skinny?”
“I’m paying for it.”
“Honey, I love you, but don’t talk shit to your own mother.”
“The money for your treatment is coming out of my account.”
“But how? Did you win the lottery or something?”
“How much did Dad tell you?”
“Nothing. To be honest, he was being really grumpy when I spoke to him this afternoon. Said I needed to talk to you and that he was going fishing.”
“Are you sitting down?”
“I’m laid down. Does that count?”
“I got married.”
“Sorry, what? I thought I heard you say you got married.”
“I’m married, Mom.”
“But I don’t get it. How long was I unconscious? Like a couple of years or something?”
“It’s a kind of spur of the moment thing.”
