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“You’ve got that faraway look again,” August says, staring at me. He looks a little concerned. Well, he should be. I still haven’t admitted what I did with Sem.Twice.
Oh god, kill me now.
“You’re making me worry, bro. You okay?”
I sigh heavily and run a hand through my damp hair. The two of us are standing outside of the yoga studio drinking from our water bottles. I should be in my car, driving home, but August cornered me. I guess I have been acting shady lately. Guilt has a way of doing that to a person.
August has every right to be worried. He probably thinks my parents have been bullying me again. Or my brothers. He’s seen how they can be.
In fact, just this morning, my dad texted me asking me if I wanted to play on a softball team with him and my brothers. I don’t know why he asks when he knows I hate traditional sports. And before I could politely decline, my brothers sent memes with the sole purpose of teasing me. I swear there are days I just want to block them all.
“I’m fine, but Jesus…I…I cannot believe I am telling you this, and if I do, you cannot tell a soul,” I mutter as I stare at the sky. “I had…IhadsexwithSem.”
“What?”
“I had sex. With Sem.”
August chokes on his sip of water, his face turning red as his eyes widen. “What the—”
“Twice.”
His coughing increases until I’m slapping him on the back roughly. For a moment, I worry I’m going to have to call an ambulance.
“Calm yourself. You can’t afford a ride to the hospital. Healthcare in this country is atrocious.”
“Why—would you do that?” he asks, his eyes leaking.
He swipes at them, and I frown. “You know how I get.”
“Oh, Jesus. Did he provoke you into some kind of competition?”
“Maybe,” I admit, scuffing my shoe along the ground. I’m a child, apparently.
“You are freakishly competitive.”
“I know. It’s an issue.”
“So, he provoked you into it? He didn’t force you, did he?”
“Jesus, no. He didn’t rape me. But he did irritate me into agreeing to it. He said…” I lower my voice so no one from the gym will overhear me and lean toward August. “He said I couldn’t take all of him.”
August’s brown eyes widen, and a smile tilts up his lips. “Oh, did he now?”
“Yeah,” I sniff. “So, obviously, I had to prove I could.”
I stand taller for a few seconds and then shrink when I see August’s stare. To him, I must look ridiculous. Having sex with Sem just to prove a stupid, silly point.
“And the second time?” August asks, and I sigh.
“Same thing. He just…” I throw up my hands and pull at my hair. “Heprovokesme. I want to strangle him whenever I see him. And I just can’t help myself when he says stuff like that. Like he thinks I can’t do something because of my size.”
August rubs a hand along his jaw and then says, “Well?”
“Well, what?”
“Did you like it?”
