Page 37 of Until Him

“Hey,” I say softly, soothing him. “What’s up? What’s wrong?”

He sags against me, his face pressed into my neck, his body trembling slightly.

“You should go,” he mutters, but there’s no conviction in his voice, and I just pull him into me a little further. The way he shakes against me, his breathing stuttered, reminds me of my brother after his accident—the utter pain and torment he was in. The way he’d cry out in the middle of the night and then lash out at Finn and me.

That entire experience broke something inside of me, and I still haven’t found a way to piece it back together.

Theo, like me, may seem like he has it all together, but something isn’t right.

He has secrets. There has to be a reason he’s acting this way.

“Hey,” I say, running my hand across his back, up and down his spine, and squeezing the back of his neck. “It’s okay, shhh…”

“I’m so sorry,” he says softly.

“Nah,” I whisper. “It’s alright. We’re all entitled to our freakouts. I get it.”

He’s silent for a few minutes, his breath just puffing against my skin, his fingers clutched onto my shirt.

“You’re not dumb,” he whispers, and hell, my heart cracks a little.

“I am, a little,” I say, trying to lighten the mood, and he huffs a small, choked laugh against me.

He clings to the front of my shirt, his lips pressed against my neck. His warm breath strokes my skin.

“You’re not. You’re smarter than you think,” he says.

“I have a GPA of 2.0.”

“Intelligence isn’t always measured in academics.”

“Don’t know what that means.”

Theo lifts his head and swipes at his eyes. Fuck, was he crying? Now I feel like shit. Shouldn’t have shoved him hard like that.

He moves off me and pulls his knees into his chest. “Logan, I need you to do something for me.”

“Sure. Anything.”

“We need to go back to the way things were,” he says, and I wrinkle my brows in confusion. “This can’t get complicated between us. Being friends with you or…getting to know you iscomplicated. And I can’t do that to myself right now. I’m going through some stuff.”

“What stuff?”

“I don’t…I’m not sharing that with you.”

My chest clenches a little at how reluctant he is to open up. I want to be the one he tells his secrets to. Maybe it has something to do with what his tattoo symbolizes. Shit, now I really want toknow.

“Alright. If that’s what you want.”

I’m not sure that’s entirely possible because I’m inexplicably drawn to him, and my dick obsesses over him. But, the truth is, I barely know the guy. I’m not overly attached. It shouldn’t be that bad taking a few steps back.

I think.

“Thank you,” Theo says, pulling the book from my lap and sniffling a little. “I can do like thirty minutes of tutoring, and then I have other plans.”

I nod, and he starts to explain some concepts, and I try my best to pay attention, but mostly I just think about him and his sad eyes.

six

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