Page 50 of Until Him

Okay, now is the time to zip it, but I can’t help it. I keep going. I’m like a runaway motorboat just chugging along through this gator-infested murky water.

“…I stuck it up my ass multiple times. Didn’t mind it so much. I even watch gay porn now.”

Oh, dear lord, send help.

Theo is staring at me, his eyebrows raised, his mouth agape. I’m sweating a little.

“You know, just in case you wanted to stick that gigantic dick of yours in my ass. I have a little nervous thing about being prepared…I wanted to stretch myself out a bit, ya know? Is that a thing?”

Theo wets his lips and blinks rapidly.

“And what if I, like shit myself or something. I wanted to make sure that didn’t happen…you know….”

Oh, Jesus, take the wheel. I slap a hand across my mouth, trying to force my words back inside. I don’t need to talk about shitting myself if Theo fucks me. What the hell is wrong with me?

I’m flushed and embarrassed now.

“Logan. I’m not going to fuck you,” he says softly, and my eyebrows pinch together. Because why the hell not? Maybe all that poop talk really turned him off.

“You got something against me personally?” I ask, feeling a little defensive.

Theo shakes his head. “I’m not answering that.”

“You do, don’t you? Did I…” I swallow, my mind going a hundred miles an hour because nothing else makes sense at the moment. “Did I do something to you? Like, did I hurt you or something? Because I didn’t mean to.”

“No…” Theo says and then shakes his head. “It’s…don’t worry about it, Logan. Just…your ass is safe from me, okay?”

I don’t want it to be safe from him. I want it to be violated. Trespass, Theo. Stick that big dick right up inside of me.

“But I’ve been practicing.”

“Well, you can stop.”

Silence permeates the cab of the car and I tap my fingers on the steering wheel. Light rain has started to fall from the sky, and I turn on the windshield wipers as we both stare out at the road ahead. Fuck. I’m not sure what to talk about now. I kind of want to pester him about it some more.

See, what did I say? Distraction. He’s doing a brilliant job. I haven’t thought of my brother once, nor the overwhelming guilt I’m going to have seeing him again. This whole weekend is going to be a total clusterfuck.

“Is it because you aren’t attracted to me?” I blurt. That’s never actually happened to me before, but with Theo, anything seems like a possibility.

“Logan, are you fishing for compliments? Because you know what you look like. I don’t need to tell you.”

“Yeah, well, I think you should tell me.”

“I’m not doing that. You can just look in a mirror and see for yourself.”

“What if I told you what I think of you?” I ask. “We could trade.”

“Don’t do that,” he says, almost sounding desperate now. Like I’m going to insult him or some shit. “I don’t want to hear what you think of me.”

“It’s not bad, Theo.”

He shakes his head and purses his lips. “Don’t. Don’t do it.”

I sigh and then decide I should change the subject. He’s getting agitated and I don’t know why. I was just going to compliment his dick and his legs and those soft lips of his.

So instead, I ask, “Will Curie be okay all alone in the apartment? She seems kind of vindictive.”

Theo exhales, seemingly relieved by the change of topic. “She’ll be fine, but yeah, I’m sure she’ll hold my absence against me. She’ll probably piss on my pillow in protest or something.”

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