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His face twisted in pity, and I wanted to punch myself in the face for letting my weakness speak for me. “Everything,” he answered honestly. “There’s nothing about Kincaid or her life that I don’t know about, Fox.”
“Did she ever love me?” It was an intrusive question, and I couldn’t see Saxton sharing Kincaid’s secrets, but I had to ask. If he said no, then it would destroy me, but I’d be able to finally move on.
The belief that what we had was real was what kept me prisoner. I refused to believe that Kincaid hadn’t loved me. I refused to believe that she had manufactured her side of our relationship. There was no way passion like ours could have existed without love as the source of its flame. Doubt that I could ever find that with someone else had me tethered to Kincaid like a rusted chain of anger. However, if it had all been a lie, then I could move on to find something real with someone else.
I prayed that his answer was no.
“She did,” he replied, and I could feel my chest twist in hate over his answer, even though I’d been the stupid ass who had asked it. “She still does,” he continued, and I hated myself even more for asking.
“Then what the fuck is going on, Voss?” I hissed. “Why did she leave me? Why does she act like she hates me?”
“Look, I feel your pain,” he said. “Honestly, I do. But I’ve already crossed a line that’s going to have Kincaid murdering me in my sleep. The rest is for her to tell you, Fox.”
“Why answer me, then?”
He shrugged. “You asked,” he replied simply. “Besides, I think she’s wrong on this one, no matter what she says.”
I let out a deep, ragged, regretful breath. “Man, I’d really been hoping that you were going to tell me that she hadn’t loved me.”
“I know,” he replied, that look of pity still on his face.
I stared at the person who knew her best. “I need to let her go, don’t I?”
“If I thought that, then I never would have told you the truth.”
Just then, my phone chime, and I just left it. I was seriously contemplating ditching the rest of my class, then heading to my favorite bar. The last thing that I needed was another text from Alexis cementing the decision for me.
“Look, thanks,” I told him. “I’m going to head to class. Let me know if you guys need me for anything.”
His face twitched in surprise. “That’s it? Nothing more on Kincaid?”
“Dude, you and I both know that I’m beating a dead horse here,” I finally admitted out loud. “I can be the bigger person. I…I just might have to work a little bit harder at it.”
“Fox-”
“Also, let the guys know that I’m going to stop by Alexander’s tonight before I go to Curtis Barker’s party.”
“Wait. Why?”
“Even though I don’t think it’ll do any good, I’m going to let him know that August threatened Kincaid,” I informed him. “Maybe that’ll light a fire under his ass.”
Saxton just nodded, letting me change the subject. “It couldn’t hurt. Alexander knows what it would mean if Kincaid and August got to locking horns.”
“No shit,” I agreed.
“Okay, well, let us know what happens.”
“I will.”
We bumped elbows, then went on our way. It didn’t matter how much Alexander’s ignored August thus far. Alexander couldn’t ignore August going after Kincaid.
None of us could.
