Page 19 of Alone


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When my face lifts from my hands, Alaska, Carmen, and Lexus are all standing in front of me. I look away from them and notice the other woman that came in earlier and called me ‘Trin’ is hanging from a pole on a stage across the room.

As I’m watching her swing herself around the stage like she owns it, two other girls come into the building, bickering about some guy named Ted. They disappear into the changing area and I’m guessing they belong to two of the three vanities that were left unoccupied in the dressing room.

All seven of us are accounted for it seems. At least all seven vanities are.

“What the fuck is going on?” Alaska asks. Her quiet voice now sounds heavy and raspy, like she’d been running a marathon for the last hour. She’s breathless and her chest is rising and falling rapidly.

“I don’t know,” Carmen says, her arms folded in front of her. Her tongue is tucked in her cheek and her eyes are burning into me.

I take a deep breath. I need to get this under control. I need an excuse.

“I’ll be fine,” I say. “I guess it was just a bad trip.”

Lexus doesn’t say anything, she just keeps staring at me. I really need to know what happened last night.

I get to my feet.

“Are you sure?” Carmen asks.

“Yeah,” I say. “Maybe just take me through the routine really quick so I remember what I’m supposed to be doing. Jog my memory a bit.”

All three of them sigh and I see the woman in the background slide to the floor and land in a split. I’m hoping I don’t have to do that. I was never able to do a split, and having kids was probably the nail in the coffin for any type of limber mobility. Not to mention the fact that I practically pee when I sneeze. It would probably be more like busting open the Hoover Dam if I attempted a split.

I’m sure that won’t bring in the tips.

The girls go to the neighboring stages and stand by their poles. They wave up to the balcony at the man standing with headphones and whirl a finger in the air, the same way Tommy had done only a few minutes ago.

Music pumps through the speakers and I recognize the song. It’s the one Tommy tried to get me to dance to. I really hope I’m able to get my head on straight and figure this out for them.

The three of them stand at the base of their poles, tapping their feet to the first few beats of the song. They arch their backs, pressing their asses and shoulders against the metal while snaking an arm up over their heads. Their free hands run down their chests and over their stomachs before reaching behind them and grabbing onto the poles.

When the beat drops, all three girls jump in the air and press against the pole. Their legs extend out, forming a straight line before they part their legs and swirl around in circles. They whirl themselves around, bringing their legs back to the pole and wrapping around it. Connecting their ankles, they use their legs to hold themselves in place as their arms fall down, running through their hair, over their breasts, and down their stomachs, toying with the hemline of their lace thongs.

This is hot. Why have I never gone to a strip club before?

The lights are flashing on them, making this entire show seem like a legit strip club. Like the ones you see in Vegas or on drug related TV and movies.

I can’t believe I’m one of these girls.

They do a few more moves, sliding up and down the pole, swinging their arms and legs, thrusting their hips toward the crowd. It’s all very smooth and very in sync. I can understand why Tommy wants me to pull myself together.

I am memorizing every move they make, trying to record it into my memory bank for when they have me repeat the choreography.

The girls land their platform heels on the stage and I begin clapping. Though the sound is making my ears ring and my head thump even harder, I felt like it was well deserved. They did phenomenal. And the amount of upper body strength it must take for them to maneuver themselves like that… wow.

I can’t promise I wouldn’t get turned on if they rubbed up against me after seeing what their bodies can do. And I swear I’m not a lesbian.

Or am I?

Carmen makes a wave of her hand, suggesting it’s my turn. I nod, completely terrified, and play it off as though I’m ready. I stand in the same stance the girls had as the DJ replays the song. This time, the woman in the background starts the same moves.

Thankfully, I’ll be able to watch her and do what she does. Like a cheat sheet from a high school exam.

Easy.

I hope.

I press my ass and shoulders against the pole and wait for the song to play on, running my hands over my body and up the pole. When the beat drops, I do the same routine the girls had done, jumping up on the pole and clenching my ankles together. Only when I do it, I squeeze my eyes closed, waiting for their reaction when I fall from the pole and land flat on my ass. I don’t have the strength they do and they’re going to notice as soon as I’m in a ball in front of them.

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