Page 20 of Alone


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But I don’t fall. I don’t even slide a fraction of an inch out of place.

My legs swing up and do exactly what I want them to. My body is holding myself in the air and allowing my legs to split in two directions, showing the world my crotch as I make a surprised expression, but quickly turn it into a suggestive look when I notice the girls watching my every move.

It’s working. I’m actually pulling it off. I can do this.

Please don’t let me pee myself when I do the splits.

I whirl and twirl and keep my focus on the girls and the other dancer across the room as I finish the routine with only one mess-up.

My arms are jello by the time I’m done and my breath is short and loud. My face is burning from being upside down while holding up my body weight with no support from anything but my own legs and arms.

That was a workout.

Carmen nods. “I knew we didn’t fuck her up too bad.” Alaska giggles and nudges her.

Lexus smirks at her and walks away from the stage, heading toward the bar. The woman behind the counter grabs the water gun and fills a glass, sliding it over to her. She drinks and heads back in my direction.

“Alright,” she begins, folding her arms at her chest. “Now do it again.”

Four times. I did the routine four times and now I’m sitting here on the edge of the stage unable to move.

It’s definitely a lot of work and I now have more respect for strippers; however, I can’t say that I hated it. It was almost a freeing feeling while I was in the air, pirouetting myself above the ground. I was doing things I never thought I’d ever be able to do.

And this is my job, apparently. This is what I do now.

“Glad to have you back,” Lexus says, leaning her elbows, and her tits, on the stage beside me.

I smile. “Glad to be back.”

“Alright, bitches,” Carmen says, walking toward us. “Are we all ready to head out? Megan? Dee?”

I look at Lexus and realize Carmen used her real name. Megan. Lexus is Megan. I hope I can remember that. It kind of makes her feel like a real human now.

“Yeah, Amanda,” Megan replies as she slides off the stage. “I’m ready.”

Apparently we’re using real names now. Lexus is Megan and Carmen is Amanda.

Two down, one to go. I just need Alaska’s real name now and I can pretend like I’m not living in a world of strippers.

“I’m ready,” I say. Even though I have no idea what they’re talking about. I’m hoping they mean home. I really want to go home. I want to sleep off whatever is brewing in my stomach. Especially since I basically just put it all in a blender while I whipped myself around the pole.

“Yeah, but I want to change,” Lexus says, though I guess I can call her Megan now that we are leaving the club.

“Well yeah,” Amanda says. “I’m not running errands in this.” She runs a hand over her sequined bikini and garter. I notice she kicked her platform heels off a while ago making her look a lot shorter. Though nobody is as short as Alaska. The thought makes me grin.

“What errands do we have to run?” I ask, hopping down from the stage, praying I don’t snap my ankles in these shoes. They have a three inch platform with a six inch heel. It’s madness. But super cool at the same time. I feel like a total badass with them on.

I can tell Amanda wants to roll her eyes at me for, once again, forgetting what we’re doing. But she refrains.

“Paws and claws, Dee,” Megan says, smiling and looping an arm through mine. “It’s time to get pampered before the guys feel us up.” She holds a hand out in front of her with her fingers stretched out, inspecting her acrylic fingernails. “Mine need done real bad.”

I noticed I had acrylic nails on when I saw myself in the mirror this morning, but I guess I didn’t pay much attention to them. I was more focused on the fact that my skin was darker than normal. Like I got a spray tan or something. Not to mention the tattoos and piercings.

The sound of a spa day does sound good. Like a mini vacation.

Even though I miss my kids… this day sounds like my wish wasn’t so bad afterall.

Chapter six

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