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Then I touch the pen's tip to the first sheet and just do it.
"In the name of transparency," I write, "I should tell you Lachlan sent Erica a note after their breakup. That's not why I'm writing to you. Lachie only managed two words, and I have much more to say."
Aye, I do have a lot to tell her, but I suffer a brief moment of paralysis before I can make myself go on.
"I've never loved anyone but you," I write. "Those weeks with you were the best of my life, and I believe with all my heart we will be together one day. You are the love of my life. I know you're afraid, but staying away from me won't make you feel any safer. Don't give up on us. Come see me, or I'll come to you, and we'll take as long as you want getting to know each other. Please give us another chance. We have as much time as you need to work out where to live, but we can't do that unless you let me see you. Please. You aremo chridhe—my heart—and you always will be. I'll love you for the rest of my life and the whole of eternity. All my love, Aidan. PS, let Tara and Gavin read this because you need their support."
Before I can lose my nerve and rip up the letter, I fold the page and slip it into the FedEx envelope I'd found in Rory's office. In the morning, I rush to the nearest place where I can drop off my envelope for overnight delivery.
All I can do now is wait and hope.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Three days go by with no word from Calli. I'd sent the letter overnight, and I know it was delivered. If she doesn't want me, she could at least say so. But I don't believe she feels that way, not for one second. Today, I can't take it anymore. I need to do something, anything, to take my mind off Callie, so I drive to Lachlan and Erica's farm in the hills surrounding Ballachulish.
Yesterday, my brothers cornered me in my office—which is just a trailer with desks, chairs, file cabinets, and other boring stuff—and insisted on giving me money.
"Call it an investment or a grant," Lachlan said. "Either way, you are taking the money. No more 'ahmno that skint' or 'I donnae need charity.' We've decided, and you will agree."
"Thank you, Lachie," I said, "for the generous 'investment' you're trying to ram down my throat. But you need to come up with a new line. The investment-slash-grant nonsense is getting old."
Rory had rolled his eyes then. "We finally realized you won't accept anything from us unless we force you to do it."
"It's tough love," Lachlan announced. "Get used to it. Oh, and Iain wants to be your first new employee."
"But he's an archaeologist. I'm a general contractor."
"You know as well we do that Iain hasn't been an archaeologist for a long time. So haud her wheesht and hire him."
I saluted, in a way that wasn't entirely un-sarcastic.
But I politely declined my brothers' offer of an investment-slash-grant. I need to get my company on a stronger footing on my own, without relying on my family to prop up my business. Maybe that's foolish and stubborn, but it's how I feel. Besides, I believe with a conviction that has no factual basis that things will work out, and soon I'll be able to hire back any of my former employees who haven't found work somewhere else. Iain has already volunteered to be my first new hire.
Now, a day after that "tough love" rubbish from my brothers, I'm in the garden behind Lachlan and Erica's house planting seeds. It's a way to distract myself, nothing more. After marrying the bonnie Erica, Lachlan decided to become a farmer. They even have cows. Aye, my uptight oldest brother owns livestock and grows vegetables. Sometimes I think I've fallen through a black hole into another universe that looks just like the old one but has Farmer Lachie in it.
While I'm knee-deep in dirt and seeds, I swear I hear someone calling my name. It's so distant that I can't be sure. No, I must have imagined it. Lachlan bellows loud enough it echoes off the mountains, and Erica would've come over here instead of calling out to me.
I focus on the ground and the task I volunteered to do. It's not helping, though. I'm not distracted from thoughts of Calli. Instead, I keep wondering where Calli is and whether I should go back to my original plan and fly to America to kidnap her. While I consider the idea, I move to the left, still kneeling, and bend forward to place seeds in their wee holes. I think I'm planting spinach, but I'd dumped the seeds into my hand and tossed the packet away, so I'm not sure. This has to be the most boring job in the world. Well, except for being a solicitor. That sounds even more mind-numbing. Why am I torturing myself with farm work? I never want to become a farmer. This is Lachlan's dream, not mine, but I have nothing else to do to occupy myself, not until my company lands new clients.
"Aidan."
My entire body goes rigid. I know that voice. Christ, I'd recognize it even if Calli had laryngitis and could only croak words. Every hair on my body stiffens while an odd shiver tingles over my skin.She's here.I uncoil my spine until I crouch upright, my head still aimed away from her. I'm having trouble catching my breath. Did I hallucinate her voice? One way to find out. With a slow and deliberate motion, I set down the spade I'd been holding and place my palms on my knees. Though I can't speak yet, I take several deep breaths to calm my racing heart.
Seconds tick by, bleeding into minutes. Why am I frozen here in the dirt? It's barmy.
"Aidan, it's me."
Finally, I manage to speak, though my tone comes out gruff. "I know. Ye think I wouldn't recognize your voice?"
I rise to my full height, slowly, still half-convinced I'm hearing things. Rolling my shoulders back, I turn to face Calli. Cannae move anymore, though. Cannae speak either.
She walks up to me, halting an arm's length away. "Hi. Erica said you were out here. I was hoping we could talk. No, that's not right. I need to talk, and I hoped you would listen. Please."
I'm still incapable of forming words, so I just stare at her. Calli is here. With me.
"I know I screwed up," she says. "I know you have every right to tell me to go to hell. No one's ever been as good to me as you are, and I let my stupid fears come between us. I used the past as an excuse to keep you at a distance, to keep from falling for you. It didn't work."
I search her face, but I don't see any fear there. Has she really overcome the past?
