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"You're always very careful to use condoms."
"I am, but no protection is perfect. Mostly, she wanted me to be the father because this other man was a one-night stand. She doesn't know his name, much less how to contact him."
"What about her demands for money?" Calli asks. "What excuse did she give for that?"
"Desperation. She's alone and running out of money. Her family moved to Australia last year, and she's been embarrassed to tell them about her troubles."
I'd hoped Calli would sound happier about this news. The last barrier to us being together has been shattered. Instead of being happy, though, she still sounds guarded.
"Seona doesn't want money anymore," I say. "My sister Fiona has a friend in social services who's helping Seona. Her mother's coming here to be with her until the baby's born, and after that, they're all going to Australia."
"I'm glad she's getting what she needs."
"This means it's over. We can be together, Calli."
Silence. It drags on and on while I listen to the faint static in the background of our call.
"Are you there?" I ask.
"Yeah, I'm here. I don't know if it's a good idea."
"What?"
"Us. We haven't known each other long. A couple weeks, really, and I'm not sure that's enough."
I blow out a sigh that probably sounds irritable. "How long would be long enough? A month? Six months? I love you, and you love me. More time won't change that."
"I thought I loved you. Maybe we've both been blinded by two weeks of incredible sex."
"What we have is more than sex, and you know it." I groan, unable to hide my frustration and weariness. "You've had too much time to think and come up with reasons we don't belong together. I know you worry you don't know me, but you do. What happened with Rade, the problems Tara and Gavin had, those have nothing to do with you and me."
"I thought I knew you. Then you announced we were moving to Scotland."
"Wasn't an announcement. I'm sorry I upset you, but I didn't mean it as an order. We can talk about the options."
"My home is here. Your home is there. What's to discuss?"
"Why won't you come visit me here?" I try for a reasonable tone, but I don't think I succeed. "At least see what it's like before making up your mind."
"If I don't want to move there, what then?"
"Told you before, I'll live in America if that's what you want."
"And you'll hate me for making you leave your beloved homeland."
"For Christ's sake, Calli. What do you want me to say?" I take several slow, deep breaths while I try to regain my composure. This call hasn't gone the way I'd imagined, not at all. "We can work it out. Please stop looking for excuses to end this."
"Bad things happen," she says. "Life has taught me to expect them. Good things are rare, and I can't risk it on the hope we might beat the odds."
"Please don't do this. I'll fly over there, and we can talk in person."
"I'm sorry. You'll never know how much being with you has meant to me, but I can't do this. Goodbye, Aidan."
She hangs up.
And I hurl my mobile onto the coffee table and sink into the sofa. A slew of Gaelic curses tumble out of me, then I realize what I need to do. The baby news hasn't made a difference. Neither has talking to her. I need to try something I have never done before, take the biggest risk of my life, and pray I can get through to Calli this time.
I run to Rory's office to grab the supplies I need, then I go back to the sitting room and settle onto one of the high-backed chairs near the big windows. Aye, it's the middle of the night. Maybe this is the right time to do what I have in mind. Maybe exhaustion has loosened me up enough that I won't hold back. I have a clipboard on my lap with sheets of writing paper clamped onto it. I lift the expensive pen I borrowed from Rory's desk and poise it over the paper.
