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With her, I don't feel alone anymore. But I can't make myself tell her that. So I ask a question instead. "Have you seen your friends fight? I mean, in a battle."
"No. They don't let me go on supply missions with them because it's too dangerous. But I've seen them sparring for practice. Dax always beats Grant. But when Grant spars with Erin, you never can tell who will win."
"I thought Grant was a Zen hippie, and Erin was a badass."
"You're half right," Sarah says with a laugh. "But Grant is a badass too, and he's taught Erin how to be Zen. That's what couples do. They make each other better."
Do I make Sarah better? No, I seriously doubt that. But she makes me better, for sure. I don't growl nearly as much as I used to, before I met her.
She lifts her head, aiming a sweet smile at me. "Dax and Allison taught each other lessons too. He was a prisoner in the Echo, banished here by his brother. Allison showed him how to be human again, and he taught her self-defense tactics."
"Hmm, I'm starting to see a pattern here. One half of each couple didn't like to fight, but the badass other halves showed them how it's done."
"You're oversimplifying things. Their relationships are way more complex than that, just like ours is."
We have a relationship, that's what she just implied. I suppose we do in the wider sense of the term. But I suspect she means a romantic relationship. We did have sex, twice, but that doesn't automatically mean we have some kind of emotional connection. Maybe I did sort of share stuff about my past and my feelings, but that's not proof of a relationship either.
So what would be proof? I have no fucking idea.
But something changed between us inside the stronghold, and I'm not sure it's a good thing—for her.
Chapter Sixteen
Sarah
I swear I can hear the gears turning in Gabriel's mind while he struggles to accept that we have a relationship—a real, emotional relationship. It doesn't make sense for us to have this kind of connection so soon after we met, but the Echo has taught everyone that every day is precious and we shouldn't take any moments for granted. I might not remember more than the past two months, but I've listened to everything my friends said and took it to heart.
They're amazing people, and I'd be lucky to find half of what they have.
Why do I care so much about Gabriel? Because he saved my life, yes, but that's only a small part of it. I care because he showed me his pain, he opened up to me in a way I doubt he's ever done in his life before now, and he's determined to stop the Echo from destroying itself and Earth along with it. That's what will happen if we can't command the Brain. The worlds are connected, inextricably. If one dies, so will the other.
Along with all life in both worlds.
"Let's explore the castle," I say. "I know it's full of bad memories for you, but we need to make sure there's nothing in here that could help us. Are you okay with that?"
He blusters out a big breath. "Yeah, I'm okay with it. As long you're with me."
Gabriel winces, like he thinks he said something stupid.
I bracket his face with my hands. "Don't be embarrassed. I feel the same way. As long as I'm with you, everything will be okay."
He peels my hands away from his face and clasps them. "I wasn't embarrassed. But I'm not used to saying things like that—or feeling them." He kisses my hand, then releases both of them. "We should probably spread out to explore the castle, though we shouldn't go out of sight of each other. You take the far side of this room. I'll look around on the dais and behind the throne."
"Sounds good."
We lost our backpacks somewhere along the way, probably one of the times Jarek almost dropped us. Not sure it matters. If we can't figure out how to take control of the Brain and find a way out of the Echo, we're screwed anyway.
I start at the doorway to the throne room and work my way across it in a diagonal pattern. That seems like the most efficient way to explore. As I sweep this side of the room, I search the walls and the floors for any sign of a hidden doorway or panel that might open up to reveal…something. Not knowing what we're looking for makes the search more difficult, but I know we can do this. I wish Aldith could have given us more info about the Brain, but I'm sure she has limitations, just like we all do.
My friends would know how to search. They might even have some equipment that could help. But they aren't here, and we can't go to them.
Gabriel and I can do this. I know we can.
Once I've finished my examination of this half of the room, I wander over to where Gabriel is scrutinizing the throne. He'd been executing a similar search pattern while exploring his half of the room, but he clearly didn't find anything. Now, he's on his hands and knees, feeling around for who knows what.
I squat beside him. "What are you doing?"
"Searching, obviously."
