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Stars, he was beautiful.
And I had missed him, I realized.
That was big for me.
Really, really big.
I had never missed anyone before; I’d never had anyonetomiss. My relationship with Vena and Akari was strange because we had been connected through our pain. And I hoped we would reconnect in our joy or happiness, after our year apart had passed. But I didn’t miss them.
Yet after just a few days, I had missed Namir.
I’d missed his jokes, his laughter. His grins. Even his practiced smiles.
He wasn’t putting them on his face to be cruel; he was just doing his job, as the king.
And he was really damn good at that job.
His people loved him, and I…
Fuck.
Did I love him too?
My throat swelled.
I had missed him. I was angry at him, and I still felt a bit frustrated by what he hadn’t told me. But despite that anger, I couldn’t actually see myself leaving him permanently, or hating him permanently.
Or even really disliking him.
He was my mate, and he had protected me in exactly the way he thought I needed to be protected.
And I hated to admit it, but honestly, he hadn’t been wrong. I didn’t know what would’ve happened if he’d told me that I was the monster I feared so much in those first days in the forest, but I knew it wouldn’t have been good.
It could’ve destroyed me.
And he had protected me from that, whether I liked it or not.
I opened my mouth to say all that, to spill those emotions, but the words that came out instead were a simple, “Thank you.”
His body stilled.
I hurriedly added, “You’ve been selfless since the moment we met, Namir. Focused on protecting me. Helping me heal and grow, too. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you to let me float around the city trying a bunch of random trade work when you knew your brother could use me to kill you.”
He remained still, as if my words held him frozen.
I wasn’t great at being kind, or sweet. Survival had been my only focus for so long, and I’d just never been inclined to softness like Vena had been. While some people crumbled, or hid, or grew stronger, I hardened.
But with Namir, I couldn’t always be that way. I had to be my honest, truthful self.
“You’re right; knowing that I was my own monster any earlier would’ve killed me. I was fighting so hard not to break, back then. And you protected me, even if I don’t necessarily like that you had to. That gave me the freedom to live, and evolve. And I know it couldn’t have been easy for you to try to figure things out for the both of us with the memories of your mom and dad’s shitty relationship bouncing around in your head, so, thank you.”
There was another pause.
A long, long pause.
I finally got up the nerve to add, quietly, “I think I might love you for it.”
He spun to face me. His eyes were molten, his expression one of fierce need for a split second—and then he crashed into me. His hands were wet and hot on my face as he pinned me to the wall, his lips taking mine in an instant.
