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But I needed to learn the truth.
“Are your father’s advisors in your part of the court?” I asked him.
“All of them.” Espen didn’t turn back around. “I’ve already set up a meeting with them that begins in a few hours. They don’t know what it’s for.”
“Whatisit for?”
“So I can rip the throats out of whichever of them was involved with the death of your family.”
Shit.
There was a moment’s pause, and he added, “And so my brother and I can put whoever tortured our females through as much hell as they can survive before we rip their limbs from their bodies as slowly as fucking possible.”
The calm, easy way he said those things made my throat tight. “I’m the one who’s supposed to be getting revenge, Espen.”
“I’ve seen the way you attempt revenge. A knife to the heart isn’t nearly a cruel enough punishment for what those people did to you.”
Somehow, he was still acting calm and rational.
“I want to be there,” I pressed.
“You will be. From what Diora said, you know which of the men were involved.”
My throat tightened further.
Ididknow which of the men were involved.
Mostly.
“I never met the leader of their group—I thought it was you. They’d talk about him, but I never saw him. He wasn’t interested in rape or torture; he just wanted the magic we held.”
Espen paused. His voice was lower, but still soft and smooth as he said, “I would sooner pay someone to end my life than have anyone hurt in any way simply for being powerful.”
As he resumed building, the reasoning behind those words struck me.
He had been hurt as a child in many ways for being powerful. He’d said it himself, that his mother was abusive and he didn’t try to stop her.
“You really didn’t know,” I said quietly.
“No. If I had, you would’ve been freed much, much sooner.”
Despite the two decades I’d spent despising the man building that bookshelf, I believed him.
And as much as I didn’t want it to, that changed everything.
What was the point of revenge against him?
What would’ve been the point of making him fall in love with me so that I could break his heart?
He hadn’t hurt me or forced me to suffer; in the short time I’d known him, he’d begun building me a bookshelf with his own hands, and had given me soap from his own shower.
I would get my revenge on the men who had actually hurt me and ended my family’s lives, but…
What was I going to do about Espen?
Stars, I had no idea.
Luckily for me, the man from the bookstore knocked on the door a few minutes later, leaving me with a large stack of books. I then distracted myself from my many problems by picking up one about the history of the Night Court so that I didn’t have to figure anything out immediately.
