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I wasn’t a torturer; I wasn’t that cruel.
But I did need my revenge.
I would have to get it another way, a way that didn’t require me drooping to the lows that the people who hurt me had gone to.
In an instant, I released my hold on all of my magic, and returned to Espen’s side. He took my hand in his, slipping his fingers between mine and squeezing lightly as I watched everyone around the table catch their breath.
Maintaining a neutral expression when I saw them suffering like that was one of the most difficult things I had ever done.
I’d survived pain… but I realized that surviving it and inflicting it was something entirely different.
“You’ll be interviewed one by one,” Espen said coldly. “And when I find out which of you was responsible for hurting my mate, I’ll make your last few days more painful than the worst nightmares the dream kings could put you through. Horvis, you’ll be first.” He gestured toward the door.
Horvis’s eyes narrowed, but he slowly stood.
I knew that Espen was certain the man hadn’t been involved in the prison, and I realized immediately what he was doing: separating his oldfriendfrom the other men, so that Horvis didn’t get the chance to mock Espen or make snide comments while the others were being questioned.
The king was far from perfect, but he was also far from stupid.
“Jesh and Lavee, will you make sure no one attempts to leave?” Espen checked.
The couple grinned together.
“It’d be our pleasure,” Lavee practically cooed.
The viciousness in her eyes was at odds with the kindness she had showed me earlier, but that made me feel almost loved. If someone vicious was willing to show me kindness, they had to care about me.
Or I was just overthinking that, looking for connections to soothe my brokenness. Both options were equally likely, honestly.
Espen gave my hand a light squeeze, and I took it as a quick warning that he was about to walk out of the room and wanted me to walk with him. When he strode out, I walked confidently at his side—or at least as confidently as I could act.
Hopefully I was selling the act.
“Do you want to help interrogate?” Espen murmured to me, his voice low.
I had no doubt that if I said yes, he would let me sit or stand beside him and question whoever I wanted to question, however I wanted to question them.
“Will you be violent?” I asked him.
“Unless you’d rather I not be.”
Damn.
He was putting all of the cards in my hand, all of the options on my plate.
I couldn’t decide whether I loved or hated that.
On one hand, I’d never been the one to make decisions. I’d been a pawn, used and abused at the hands of bastards and villains for far too long. That made me relish the chance to make my own decisions, and to have other people respect the decisions I made.
But on the other hand, it had been a long time since I was responsible for anything other than trying to keep Vena and Diora alive. And even that wasn’t truly in my hands. I wasn’t practiced in making decisions, and I worried that whoever had to enact my choices would realize that.
“I don’t think I can support torturing anyone,” I finally murmured, as we came to a stop just outside a door I had never stepped through before.
“That’s understandable. I won’t use violence unless it’s absolutely necessary, and I’ve seen proof of that person’s guilt.”
My chest warmed.
That was fair.
