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Why did that sound so fucking good?
Stars, I’d give anything for that.
A friend.
Someone I could talk to, and trust.
Someone I could hug when I needed to.
“You’re attracted to me, though,” I said, because it was the only argument I could come up with.
“And you’re attracted to me. Can friends not share attraction?”
I both loved and hated him for being right.
“What would it mean, to be friends?”
“That we protect each other. Share our thoughts with each other. Learn to trust each other. Let ourselves love each other, without the distraction of the physical side of things.”
I wasn’t sure whether to be thrilled or disappointed by his words. “A few hours ago, you promised to teach me pleasure,” I reminded him softly.
“I can do that and be your friend, Akari. I wouldn’t expect it to mean anything more to you—the pleasure. The friendship, I would hope meant a lot.”
My heart seemed to clench.
Stars, that sounded like… everything.
Everything I could want.
Pleasure, and friendship. No sex, no pressure.
Maybe it could help me find purpose again, or some sort of desire to continue living and experiencing things despite the suffering I had faced.
“Okay. Yes. Let’s do it.” I nodded a bit jerkily, my face rubbing against his chest with the motion.
Damn, his muscles felt good under my cheek.
His arms tightened around me. “I should probably let you go to sleep, then.”
He was right; I was exhausted, and I had proclaimed that I was going to bed.
But…
“However, you haven’t been eating enough. So as your friend, I’m going to insist that you come to my place and eat something.”
My lips curved upward, only because he couldn’t see the small smile. “Is that so?”
“Yes. And if you ask nicely, I’ll let you bring the dagger you have snuggling my back.”
A laugh burst from me, and my fingers unclenched from around the weapon a bit. “Sorry, I forgot I was holding it.”
“Don’t apologize for being ready to stab any strange men who find your room.” His voice was a bit gruff, but I could hear the playfulness behind it. “Better you stab them than I rip out their throats.”
I snorted. “My knives don’t always freeze in the air a breath away from their targets. You got lucky.”
“We can agree on that.” His hand followed the curve of my lower back as he moved it a bit. I expected to hate the touch, but honestly, I didn’t in the slightest.
“Alright, I’ll let you cook for me.” I eased away from his chest, and he let me go. It was already late into the night; what would another hour hurt?
