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Stars, I needed to get over that. To move on. To accept that I had a place in Espen’s portion of the court, and just try to rediscover who and what I was without the people I loved more than life.
But for a few minutes, I just needed to cry.
So when I finally reached mine and Espen’s floor, I opened the door to my room slowly and silently.
If and when Espen came looking for me, the bed was the first place he’d look, so I locked the door behind me before padding into the bathroom.
Hopelessness churned my stomach.
It had been a good day—a fun time. Why was I feeling this way? Why was I so damn sad?
And how could I fix myself?
I didn’t know, but I closed the bathroom door and then locked it too before I slid out of my dress.
When the expensive fabric was puddled near the doorway, I folded myself into a ball, nestling up into the corner where the shower met the wall. My forehead pressed to smooth glass, and it was cold.
Whether that was because of my magic, or because of something else, I didn’t know.
Either way, it was icy against my skin.
Tears welled up in my eyes, and my shoulders began to shake.
I was fine.
I was so fine.
I was ridiculously, ridiculously fine.
And I tried to tell myself that—I tried to force myself to believe that.
But it didn’t work.
And as tears trailed down my cheeks, I decided that it was stupid to try to convince myself that I was alright.
I wasn’t okay.
I had never been okay.
And fuck me, I was so tired of that.
My bathroom’s door swung open silently, and my eyes shot upward before colliding with a pair I had not expected to see in the building… or even in the court.
Chapter13
Espen
I pacedthe hallway between my room and Akari’s, still waiting for her to come over the top of the stairs. Her lunch wasn’t supposed to be so long—and I was fucking worried about her. And on top of that, I kept reliving that fucking incredible kiss we had shared. Kept seeing it, and feeling it, and wanting more. It was unexpected, yet mind-blowing at the same time.
I’d already checked her room, and found the bed empty and the place looking exactly the way she had left it when she came to mine for breakfast.
So where the hell was she?
I didn’t want to abandon the staircase, or the hallway, but I’d already been pacing too long.
She was most-likely just out spying with Diora or Lavee, I knew, but I hadn’t heard from her and that still stressed the fuck out of me.
So I paced a little bit longer, until I couldn’t take the waiting anymore.
