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“I do love you,” she said as another tear raced down her cheek.
“Yeah, like a brother, not like a man. It’s not enough.” She glanced away and swallowed, and I held my hand up. “Don’t bother trying to come up with something, Riley. It’s over. I should have stopped this a long time ago. I hope you find what you want. I just hope you can be happy for me someday.”
I started to step around her, but she jumped in front of me and put her hands on my chest. “Ethan, we can’t end things this way. Please!”
“Riley, what do you want me to do? Come on! I’m trying to let you go. Why do you have to make this so fucking difficult!”
“I’m—” She started to say something, then closed her mouth and looked away. I watched her wilt right in front of me. Her shoulders rolled forward as shadows crossed her features. It was something I had never seen her do before, and it almost broke my heart. “I’m sorry,” her voice was soft. “I’ll go. I’m so sorry I interrupted your night.”
She turned and walked away, and I had to force myself not to follow her. My chest hurt, my gut felt sick, and my mind was in an uproar.
At the door, she paused but didn’t look back. “I do wish you the best, Ethan. Take care of yourself.”
She opened the door and slipped out into the night, and I could hear her crying as she ran down my front stairs to my driveway. I rushed to the door, my hand on the knob to turn it, but something stopped me.
My future was someplace else. I would get over Riley, and she would learn to live without me. We’d be fine. I put my forehead against the door, listening to her car start and back out of the driveway. It wasn’t until after her car pulled away that I opened the door and stared out into the dark and quiet night.
I wondered for a moment if I should have gone after her. I shook my head and sighed as I closed the door, turned the lock, and shut off the lights before going to my room.
In bed, I lay there and thought back over a lot of my life. I remembered good times and bad—many with Riley—several without—and I laughed a little and shed a few tears, then I rolled over and closed my eyes. Tomorrow a new day would begin and with it a new journey.
