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“Yeah, I do.”
“Then you are already doing everything that you need to do. It wouldn’t be much different if you and Mike were serious.”
“He asked me to marry him.”
“What?” she barked with her eyes wide. “When the hell was this?”
I frowned. “Believe it or not, it was yesterday. It’s what started all of this. I told Mike no—that he was crazy. Then I took off and went to Dad’s for the night to think things over. When I came back this morning, I told him that there were things in my life that he couldn’t be part of. That’s also when he saw your message.”
“Oh, geez, Candy. What are you going to do now?”
I shrugged. “Who knows. I have no clue how Mike really feels about me. It’s not like we’ve said we love each other. I almost feel he asked me because he just wanted an instant mother for his kid. I’m already doing all this stuff. Maybe throwing a ring on my finger felt like the right thing for him to do.”
“Or maybe he loves you,” she said softly.
“Yeah, I doubt that.”
“Do you love him?”
I sighed. “I told you, maybe. I don’t know. Until now, I hadn’t even let myself consider it—not really.”
“Perhaps you can sit down and discuss it when you two get home. Tell him you don’t want to marry him just because he thinks you’d make a great mother to his son. Tell Bollard that you two should take it slow until he knows how he feels, and you know how you feel.”
“I think that’s a good idea,” I told her.
“Well, it’s good to see you. I’m glad that things have worked out the way they did. I didn’t relish the thought of having to move.”
“I know, and I’m sorry for how we barged in.”
“It’s okay. With Bryan, there is always some drama going on.” She laughed.
* * *
On the way home two days later, I sat in my seat on the plane and thought back over the last few days. Mike and I hadn’t had much chance to talk, and he kept his distance. Harley and Mike shared a room that seemed to make them a little closer. I slept on the couch in the basement family room and was quite content in the cool, dark area.
This morning, I woke up to find Mike sitting on the ottoman beside the couch, watching me sleep. When I asked him what he was doing, he smiled, brushed a lock of hair off my forehead, and said, “Nothing. Breakfast will be ready soon, sweetheart.” Then he got up and walked away.
He had been pleasant and funny but focused mainly on Harley, Cara, and Bryan. I didn’t mind. It allowed me to watch him more, and I noticed little things about him, like the crinkles around his eyes when he smiled and how the beard I had once thought I didn’t like had grown on me. I now found it rather sexy, but very little about him wasn’t sexy.
We had all gone out horseback riding, and Harley had loved it. I don’t think Mike was a big fan, but he didn’t complain. Over meals, we laughed, and the two men shared funny stories of things from the club.
Mike was tentative toward me, but other than him wiping the hair off my forehead that morning, he hadn’t touched me. I wondered what he was thinking but was afraid to hear it.
Did he still want to be with me? Did I want to be with him? There was no reason for us not to be together now that he knew about Bryan. Yet, I didn’t know if there was enough of a reason for us to be together.
The scarier part was thinking he didn’t want to be with me anymore. What we shared for those couple of weeks was all we’d ever have. It bothered me so immensely that it helped me understand what I felt for him.
Did I love him? I was well on my way to falling that way. Did I want to build something with him? Yes. Was I willing to step into the shoes of being a mother to his son? Yes. I already loved that little boy more than I ever thought possible, and Cara was right. I was already doing what he needed me to do for him. I was giving him love, sharing, teaching, and protecting. It’s not like I had to jump into the role and change things. I didn’t.
Now, I just needed to wait until we got home and figure out how to talk to Mike about all of this. I glanced at him. He was sitting back in his seat, his eyes closed, but they opened, and he turned to look at me. In those soft brown eyes, I saw more than I could have ever hoped to see and crossed my fingers that I didn’t imagine it.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
MICHAEL
Our visit with Bryan and Cara went well, with a promise to come back and visit again with them soon. Even though I knew about Bryan, others out there wouldn’t have accepted him so readily. Being an undercover cop of any kind could have gotten him killed—but that was my past life. I was a changed man.
My future was on the horizon, and I had a lot of things to consider. Much of that had to do with Candy. Yes, I wanted the woman in my life, but after talking to Bryan, I realized I needed to do a few more things before I was prepared to commit.
