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And there I was, staring him straight in his baby blue eyes and saying it shamelessly.
"Will you, now, Claire?" His smirk was irresistible. He knew. He could tell something had changed in me.
I begged myself to play it cool, but I could not stop staring at him. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. "Yes, I will. I wish you didn't have to fly out tonight."
"Right about now, Claire, I'm really wishing I didn't have to fly out tonight, too."
His words and his stare were both full of promise, and I felt so much anticipation that I could burst. His face was angelic. It seemed I hadn't missed my chance with Micah even though it took me all these years to understand how wonderful he was and that being with him was an option. It seemed as if Micah already loved me that way before I knew I loved him. I was so grateful in that moment that tears rose to my eyes.
"Oof, I need to stand up," I said, staring at the ceiling and holding my eyes wide, blinking.
"What's the matter?" Micah said, standing next to me.
"Oh, nothing," I said. "I was just thinking about using the restroom really quick," I lied. Tears threatened to spill onto my cheeks, and I said, "I'll be right back." I barely glanced at Micah as I walked away. He looked a little curious about my departure, but about three different people were waiting to talk to him when I walked off.
Chapter 12
The venue was small, and I stood in the two-stall women's restroom, staring at myself in the mirror.
I carried a compact of powder with me, and I used it sometimes in my car, but I wasn't usually the type to powder my nose in a public restroom. No one was in there with me, though, and a few tears had fallen onto my cheeks as I walked this way, so I decided to use a little.
I dug in my small purse and retrieved the powder. I experienced waves of emotion. I was happy and grateful for Micah and my newfound feelings for him, and that made me so very sad that he was leaving. I knew it was irrational for me to be so emotional when Micah had come and gone so many times before, but feelings were irrational sometimes. I couldn't stop myself from crying. A few more tears fell as I stood there, but it only took seconds for me to get myself together and finish powdering my cheeks. I was caught in the act, however, by my mom's sister.
"Hey Aunt Millie," I said, practicing my unaffected tone as I performed one last swipe of powder under my eyes.
"Aw, sweetheart," she said. It sounded like she felt sorry for me, and I looked her way to see that she was coming toward me with open arms. I hugged her. "I cried like a baby the day your uncle Jason got married," she said. "There's just something about brothers getting married. Ari seems like such a nice girl, though."
"Oh, I'm happy for Isaac. I love Ari."
"I know, but it's still hard. You almost feel like you're losing a brother."
My feelings had nothing to do with that. Isaac hadn't crossed my mind. I was not sad at all about his wedding. But I also wasn't going to get into details about my real feelings.
"If anything, they're happy tears," I said, powdering my face again just to have something to do with my hands. "I'm happy for them."
"Me too," she agreed.
It seemed like she was content with my explanation because she smiled and nodded and made her way into one of the stalls. I stared at myself for a few more seconds. I was relatively sure I didn't look like I had been crying. Aunt Millie had only known because she saw me wiping my eyes when she came in. I decided I was confident enough to head back out there, and I assumed I wouldn't be asked any questions about it.
I found Micah instantly. He was talking to my parents and Ryan. Birdy and Uncle Jim were close by, and I walked that way. I hated to waste a single second being apart from him, and I moved quickly toward them.
That suit was flawless on Micah. He looked like he should be in a movie, and he smiled casually and comfortably with my family like he always did. I wanted to run to him and throw myself into his arms. Everyone would cheer for us. I wished it was our wedding night.
My mind raced, and I wondered how there had ever been a time when I didn't realize how much I loved him. I saw myself with Micah. I saw my future with him. I hoped he wanted a future with me.
He caught sight of me as I approached, and he smiled. He shook his head a little as he watched me walk up to him. I had no idea what he was thinking.
"Claire, what's that show with the brothers… they were gangsters in the olden days. We watched it when we went on that trip to California. Micah's suit looks like that."
I didn't remember the movie Ryan was talking about, so I just shook my head and gave him a little shrug. Others were talking, anyway. My dad had been saying something about work he was doing on a rental house. I assumed he and Micah had been talking. My dad was into real estate, and Micah had taken some advice from him in recent years. Micah turned to respond to my dad. I stood next to him, but I didn't reach out and hold his hand. Refraining from doing it was like torture. I wanted to latch onto his arm like I did in the picture earlier.
"Micah was just telling us that he had to leave in a minute," my mom said to me.
"I know," I said, nodding. "He's got to go to the airport soon. He's flying out tonight."
"Texas," my mom said.
I nodded. "And then a bunch of other towns, but he's coming home in a few weeks."
