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"You, Jordan. You're the prize in this scenario. I'm the one who needs you. Twenty-six hundred dollars a month is nothing to me. I'm sorry to put it like that, but it's not a big deal to me compared to having you. It's not a large amount of money in the scope of all the properties I have, Jordan. You have something far greater than money. I never once thought you needed my charity. If I didn't offer that apartment, you would have left Seattle and started over somewhere cheaper."
"Which was what I should have done," I said indignantly.
"No, it's not what you should have done. Please don't go somewhere else. I was being selfish by trying to help you stay. Even when I was trying to tell you to bug off on that first day, I could just tell that you had something about you that I wanted to get to know. I knew, even then, that you were special, and then the more I got to know you, the more I knew I actually needed you. I want you in my life. There's no one else like you. No one could have gone through what you went through with your parents and come out like you did. You dug yourself out of a hole mentally and financially. You're amazing, Jordan—like some freak of nature. You had an accident, and you got completely abandoned because of it, and still ended up so positive and happy and wonderful. You were so determined to do it on your own that Ididn't wantto tell you. I knew you wouldn't agree to stay if you knew."
"I certainly wouldn't have," I agreed.
"It made me happy to see you here in this apartment, though, Jordan. It wasn't just for you that I did it. It was selfish of me. I liked knowing it was safe here and you were close to work." He put his hand on my head, holding me to his chest, stroking my hair gently. "But please don't say that anyone thinks of you as any less than us, because it's just not true. Birdy loved you from the first time she talked to you. And my dad loves you, too, Jordan. Please, please don't ever say that any of us don't love you or that we underestimate you. It's just untrue. We all think you're an amazing woman. I need you in my life. I need your positivity. I don't see it as me taking care of you by letting you live here. You are a light in my life. I knew I needed you and wanted you way before you let me get close to you. I love you, okay? Please just unpack those bags and say you'll never leave me."
JD held me close, patiently hugging me to his chest. He was unbelievably sincere, and the unpleasant thoughts I had been seeing as truths melted away and instantly felt like lies to me. My perspective shifted in those moments as he talked to me and held me. I felt JD's love. He had professed it. I leaned into him. It was only a couple of inches of movement, but JD knew something had shifted.
"I love you," he repeated, holding me. "I know I do. What kind of woman could do the things you do? No one. No one could have had the life you had and turned out so strong and determined and close to God. You're beautiful, and you're easy to please. You're funny and you're sarcastic. I have to have you. There's no other woman who I want in my life. No one else would ever do. You have to be mine Jordan. Please. I'm begging you. Stay. Stay, not only in Seattle, but with me. I want you with me. I want to get you a car and a closet full of new clothes. I want that closet to be at my house, and that car at my house, too. I just got you, and I can't, I won't just let you leave me now. I can't believe you were actually going to leave without talking to me. What in the world? My girl. Please say you'll stay with me."
I held onto him, being silent and still in his arms. I had been so fixed on leaving that I was cold to him. My heart had been hard. But my walls had melted away magically as he spoke. I knew JD was telling me the truth. He loved me. He needed me. He was passionate about it, and he was being honest, I could feel it in my bones.
And the truth of the matter was that I loved him back. I loved him so much. If it hurt him to see me go, then I was going to stay. I would obviously stay. I adjusted, holding onto JD, hugging him. He shifted, pulling me closer, wrapping me in his arms.
"Are you staying?" he asked.
"Yes."
"You are? You promise?"
"I promise," I said. "But I can't live here. I have to really do it by myself, or I'm not going to feel right."
"That's ridiculous," he said, trying to look at me. I glanced at him and he gave me the sweetest half-smile. "Why is needing me a bad thing? I need you. I'm not afraid to admit it. Why are you being so proud?"
I flinched. "I never thought of it like that," I said. "I'm not proud. I'm just not going to be a burden to anyone."
"That's the thing, though, Jordan. I don't know why you see it as being a burden."
"A financial burden," I said.
JD took me by the side of the face, holding onto me and drawing me back to the exact distance where he could best focus on me and stare into my eyes. "Listen to me because I am only going to say this once. I will never see you as a financial burden. Why don't you just be in my life and I'll just be in your life. We'll get into money talks later. I'm not worried about it. I am not like your parents. I will never leave you and hurt you like they did. I wantyou. There's no amount of money that would make me abandon you."
I stared at him. "I don't know how I was all the way out the door. I was convinced in my heart that things could never work," I said. "I don't know how I could possibly go from packed and leaving to melting in your arms right now, JD. How do you do that?"
His chest shook with laughter. "It's just a matter of talking to each other," he said. "You assumed one thing when something else was actually the truth. You assumed people were thinking things about you. All I did was tell you the truth. Just be willing to talk if you have something to work out with me. Don't get frustrated and run off."
I'd been watching his mouth move as he spoke. JD was a gorgeous looking man, and his mouth curved and shifted as he spoke, causing my insides to feel warm. I touched the side of his big, handsome cheek. He had a barely there five o'clock shadow, and I loved the texture of it under my fingertips. "How'd you get so dang sweet?" I asked.
"I felt like I was dying just now when I thought of you leaving." He let his head fall back and flop on the back of the couch, sighing a long, relieved breath. He swallowed, and I watched his Adam's apple shift in his throat.
I leaned in and kissed his neck tentatively. "I'm sorry I scared you," I said with my mouth close to his neck. I kissed him again. They were gentle, reserved kisses.
He rubbed my back.
"I was scared, too," I added. "I'm so sorry. With the way it was built up in my mind, I just thought that—"
"I know, but that wasn't reality," he said.
I snuggled next to him, feeling eternally thankful for the way he hunted me down and sought me out just to shower me with love and forgiveness.
"Can you stay in this apartment for a little while, until we get married and you move in with me?"
"Yes," I said. I almost mentioned something about paying more rent, but I figured thankfulness was a better way to show gratitude than self-doubt. "Thank you," I added. I kissed his cheek. "Thank you for this place. It's beautiful, and wonderful, and you're so nice for helping me out."
"You'reso nice," he said, flirting with me.
