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"Probably. Your mom was asking me all kinds of questions about Ralphie. Did you have fun with your brother?" I asked, still working, not looking up at him.
"We did. We didn't catch much, but it was fun being out there."
"This house is going to seem so empty and quiet when you and AJ leave."
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, yeah." I stopped what I was doing, set my tools down, and sat back in my chair.
Beau was shaggy and windblown from being out on the water, and I longed for him. I could hardly look at him without wanting to go to him. I desired to have a deep conversation with him since it was our last day together, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I crossed my eyes at him and made a silly expression.
"I've been working like crazy all morning," I said. "Especially once Ralphie took off. I've just been steady at it in here."
"Do you want me to let you go? Do you need to keep working?"
"Of course not," I said. "It's your last day here. I was trying to get a bunch done this morning so we could hang out this afternoon."
I stood up and stretched. I wouldn't say I was trying to get him to look at me, but I also didn't mind if he did.
"I'm hungry," I said.
"You're going to love these burgers."
"I've had them if they're from that Skillet place in Graham Springs."
"Oh, I forgot," he said. "I think you told me you ate there. I forget you were here for a month before I ever got here. I keep thinking you came here with me."
I laughed a little I wanted to think of something funny to say but I couldn't. My mind was all jumbled up. Feelings would do that to you. I faked it, though. I did my best to be my normal, unaffected, fun-loving self. I responded to him and went through the whole afternoon doing and saying things I would normally do and say.
We all ate lunch together and then we drove to another area of the lake where we hiked a trail to a waterfall. AJ, Rose, Charlie, and Hope were all with Beau and me, and I behaved the same as I had been behaving all weekend—like I was everyone's friend. Beau did the same. It was normally doable, but today it was difficult. I missed him already, and I felt tender-hearted and soft toward him. It was a gut-wrenching day, and it took a lot of concentration to go on acting normal and pretending nothing was the matter.
We went out to eat dinner when we got finished with the hike. We were in a small town, and there weren't many restaurant options. We chose a Mexican place on the highway. All of us had been there before, and the people working recognized us as the Morgans. I sat next to Beau. It wasn't uncommon for us to sit next to each other this weekend. Everyone knew we got along well, but they all seemed to know there wouldn't be a chance for us because they never even speculated.
We went through the entire meal, sitting next to each other but never touching—talking the whole time but never about anything deep. I did my part in pretending I was aloof. I ate a whole plate of nachos even though I wasn't hungry. They were spicy, and I was sweating by the time I finished them.
We still had to wait on the check, and I felt sweaty and suddenly overwhelmed from a long day of faking it with Beau. Mariachi music was playing, and my forehead was sweating, so I excused myself to use the restroom. I left twenty dollars on the table to cover my tab in case I was away when the check came. The restroom was near the entrance to the restaurant, and I had made it almost all the way over there when I heard my name.
"Holland."
I turned to find Beau.
"I said your name like three times."
"Oh, I didn't hear you with the music."
"Are you okay?" he asked, looking me over.
"I'm just going to use the restroom."
"Okay, because you left without saying anything. And I told you I was going to pay for your nachos."
He tried to hand me the twenty, but I pushed it back. "I didn't want to interrupt you and Charlie. You were talking to him."
"Okay," he said tentatively as if he didn't quite believe me. "We were talking about going swimming when we get back."
"I know. I heard you guys."
"Oh, well do you want to go? Think about it. I know you need to go to the restroom. But think about it. I guess I'll meet you back at the table." He regarded me with a cautious expression as he spoke. He knew something was bothering me. I could tell he knew.
