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Somehow I doubt that, but I do have a pretty high pain tolerance.Surely I could handle anything for a few minutes.But every inch means ...“Would I have to be naked?”
Emmett chuckles.“Yes, occasionally.But we’ve lived together in an apartment that’s barely seven hundred square feet for two years.There’s nothing I haven’t seen.I promise I can control myself if you can.”
I stick my tongue out at him, grateful for his levity.
Although it’s a little weird to think about doing something like this with Emmett, I do trust him unconditionally.But could I really pretend to be a sub?The whole idea is so foreign, so surreal, that I can’t even wrap my head around it.
He hands me a piece of paper.“Here’s the website for the Helix.There’s a link there to the show.Check it out and see what you think.Promise me you’ll at least think about it.It could be the answer to all your problems.”
“Okay,” I say finally.“I’ll think about it.”
* * *
I spend the next few days studying for finals, looking for a job, worrying about my future, and thinking about Emmett’s suggestion.Although I’m certainly no prude, at least not in theory since I’ve never really had the opportunity to explore that side of myself, the whole BDSM aspect of the show is more than a little intimidating, not to mention the thought of being exposed and on display to millions of viewers.
Curiosity finally gets the best of me, and I look up the Helix.Just like Emmett said, the hotel is beyond sumptuous.The lobby is the perfect marriage of sin and luxury, with towering arched ceilings inlaid with gold, black marble floors, elegant pillars, and a double spiral staircase that leads to the second floor that holds a casino, a bar, a restaurant, and several conference rooms.The color scheme is a sophisticated mix of gold and black accentuated with bold slashes of deep crimson.
I scroll through picture after picture, marveling at the sheer opulence of the place.There’s a gorgeous pool surrounded by lounge chairs and private curtained cabanas, a pillared stage, and floating candles illuminating plush double settees strategically placed around the pool and even on a shallow ledge surrounding it.There’s also a lushly landscaped garden with an elaborate hedge maze, a spa, a gym, and several bars and restaurants, including one on the roof that overlooks the lights of the Las Vegas Strip.
The individual rooms are just as opulent as the rest of the hotel.All of the rooms are suites, with floor-to-ceiling windows that can go from clear to opaque with the push of a button, and a bathroom that’s almost as big as Emmett’s and my entire apartment.Each room features an enormous, black-lacquered four-poster bed set on a plushly carpeted and raised platform surrounded by a canopy with sheer black drapes gathered at the four corners.And the ceiling!It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before, with an intricately scrolled inset made of gold.
Looking at the website, I’m almost convinced.The thought of spending the summer at this luxurious resort for free is tantalizing.Then I pull up a picture of Club Helix.This is the room that really makes the Helix unique, and it’s clearly built for things I have no concept of.At first glance, it resembles a lush fantasy world straight from Arabian Nights, dimly lit with rich saffron gold walls and gauzy gold and black fabric draped from the ceiling to create a tent-like effect.There’s a small sitting area, but instead of chairs, there are several large round platforms upholstered in rich velvet with tasseled fringe in the middle of the vast space, as well as low sofas scattered with colorful pillows that line the walls from which rich brocaded drapes are hung.There’s also a large stage, several large wooden structures shaped like an X, a few pedestals that look like they’re made for displaying sculptures, an assortment of padded benches and tables, a giant birdcage, and what I swear looks like a stockade.
Flustered, I click on the link for the show.Although there’s not much more information than what Emmett’s already told me, it’s apparent that although the show is definitely edgy, it’s also classy and sophisticated.I waver between seriously considering doing this and running for my life.
On the plus side, there’s no sex required, and it’s obviously a high-end club.There’s nothing remotely sleazy about the Helix.And I have to admit Emmett has a point about the job connections.This may be the only way I’ll ever get my foot in the door somewhere with my stepfather apparently hell-bent and determined to ruin every possible job prospect I may have, just to remind me of the hold he has over me.All I have to do is act like a submissive for a few hours here and there.And with Emmett as my Dom, it would be easy.Not only do I trust him implicitly, he’s a hell of a good actor, which should be enough for both of us.How bad could it be?Surely better than my prospects here.
But somehow, I just can’t pull the trigger.
Maybe it’s because I’m totally inexperienced when it comes to sex.Other than one short-lived but sweet romance with a boy named Gavin who kissed me at the park during the summer after ninth grade—the summer before my dad died and everything changed—I’ve never even had a boyfriend.I’ve been asked out a few times, but no one has really interested me enough to make me say yes.Besides, I’ve been too focused on school and guarding my heart to actually date anyone.I learned from watching my mom that I’m better off not falling in love.But a small part of me is now regretting that I didn’t say yes when that cute boy from my American Lit class asked me to go to a frat party with him, or when Serena begged to set me up with her boyfriend Ryan’s best friend.It wouldn’t have killed me to go out with a guy once or twice so at least I’d know how to kiss.
But one date leads to another, and there is no way in hell I’m going to end up like my mother.She had gone to college once too with big dreams of having a career, but instead she’d fallen in love with my father, gotten pregnant, and dropped out of school.For a while, everything had been perfect.My father was a successful architect and we’d lived pretty happily in the charming and well-to-do suburb of Kirkland, just east of Seattle.But when he’d committed suicide when I was fifteen, negating his life insurance policy and leaving my mother and me virtually penniless, she’d had no college degree, no work experience, and no way to support us.
Luckily, I suppose, she was still in her thirties and beautiful, and before long Anthony came along, seducing her with the promise of financial security and an even more opulent lifestyle than the one she’d grown accustomed to with my father.A lifestyle, I think bitterly, that was more important to her than her own daughter.
Unfortunately, it’s hard to stay mad at my mother.My father used to say she was too innocent and bright for this world, and in many ways, he was right.She shies away from anything unpleasant, and as a result, she’s also incapable of seeing anything but the best in people, even when they don’t deserve it.Used to being taken care of by my father and always emotionally fragile, she practically crumbled under the weight of bills, decisions, and a grieving teenage daughter.She evenlooksfragile with her heart-shaped face, porcelain skin, fine bone structure, and wispy blonde hair.Although I got her heart-shaped face and fair skin, I tend to look pale instead of ethereal, and while we have the same bone structure, somehow I just look awkward instead of dainty.And while I got my father’s tenacity and ability to see the world as it is along with his dark hair, I know deep down inside I’m just as weak as my mother.If I weren’t, I wouldn’t have let Anthony steal my life right out from under me.
Thinking about my mom has me missing her with a profound ache, and I impulsively punch in her number.
She answers on the third ring, her voice breathless.“Avalon!”I can hear the thinly veiled joy and hope in her voice, and my heart stutters a little.“Are you okay?”
“Hi, Mom.I’m fine.I just ...”What?I just wanted to hear her voice and remember there was once a time when my world was whole and she loved me enough to protect me?Of course I can’t say that.Instead, I say, “I just wanted to see if you are coming to my graduation next week.”
There’s a long silence on the other end of the line, and I will myself not to beg her.
“Anthony too?”she asks.
“No, Mom.Just you.Anthony is not welcome anywhere near me.”
“Avalon.”She sighs.“It’s been years since what happened, or what you think happened.It was just a misunderstanding on your part.I know you weren’t happy I married Anthony, but it was best for both of us.When are you going to let it go?He misses you, you know.”
I take a deep breath, consciously relaxing my death grip on my phone.“Never mind,” I say, trying to sound nonchalant.“It’ll probably be long and boring anyway.“
“Avalon, try to understand,” she pleads.“He’s my husband.I took vows before God and my family to be one with him and support him.Besides, he’s been good to me ...good to us.I’d come on my own, but you know how anxious I get flying.”I can practically see her hands fluttering nervously at the thought.“Besides, the primary election is in less than a month and Tony’s got to be very careful about his image right now.”I involuntarily shudder at the nickname, which brings back memories best kept buried.“It wouldn’t look good if I went to his stepdaughter’s graduation without him.”
“Well, I certainly wouldn’t want to hurt his reputation at this crucial point,” I say, my tone sarcastic.
“Thank you for understanding, Ava,” she says, her voice relieved.“You know I’ll be there in spirit, sweetheart.”
