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“Sure,” I say woodenly as I hang up.
I angrily swipe away the tears that have somehow flooded my eyes.Damn Anthony Sanderson and his reputation.He’s worried that being conspicuously absent from his stepdaughter’s college graduation would damage his run for the presidency?Ha.I wonder how he’d feel about his stepdaughter being naked on a kinky pay-per-view reality show.Actually ...that’s genius!I couldn’t have orchestrated a better way to get even with my stepfather.Although nothing can atone for what he did, this may be the closest I’ll ever get.
I text Emmett before I lose my nerve.
I’ll do the show.
* * *
The rest of the week passes uneventfully, and I celebrate finishing my last final exam by filling out the questionnaire required by the Helix Corporation for all participants in the Power Games.Emmett is working until midnight, and I have the apartment to myself, so I pour a healthy glass of red wine for courage and snuggle under the covers with the surprisingly thick packet I printed out from their website and a black pen.
I breeze through the basic information, medical forms, the consent and release of liability, and even the contract I have to sign agreeing I’ll have no contact with the outside world during the filming of the show.It doesn’t matter to me; the only person I really care about staying in contact with will be there with me.
However, the BDSM Activities Appendix with the hard and soft limits is another story.For starters, I don’t even know what half the stuff on the list is.I look up fisting, and immediately put a big fat check in the “no” box.Knife play, anything to do with blood or needles, golden showers, and breath play are easy no’s.In fact, just to make sure there’s no misunderstanding, I print a little “hell” above each no.Electrical currents?I can’t even imagine what that could have to do with sex.Luckily, Wikipedia does.When I read that the current from violet wands used for erotic play can melt fabric and set flammable material on fire, that gets another no.Cattle prods?Oh my God.I need more alcohol.
I pour myself another glass of wine and consider the remaining options.The rest of the list is a bit more ambiguous.Erotic dancing seems okay, and I’m okay with blindfolds.Bondage can’t be that bad, but there are an awful lot of categories.Hands in front, hands in back, wrists to ankles, wrists to thighs, spreader bars, rope, tape—the list goes on and on.I just check “all” and move on to the next category.
This one is about sex toys, and since I have zero experience with sex, much less sex with toys, I check yes next to everything.After all, toys are good, right?Just ask any five-year-old.After another glass of wine, the words start to blur together.Orgasm control?Why yes, I can control my orgasm.That’s what being a virgin at twenty-two does for you.I could be the fricking poster child for orgasm control.
When Emmett gets home a little after midnight, I’ve finished all the wine and most of the packet.I just have one more section to fill out.
He pops his head in my doorway.“Whatcha doing?”
I wave vaguely at the packet on the bed next to me.“What’s my safe word?”
“You have to pick it.It’s your code word to use if things get too intense or you want to stop a scene.You say your safe word and everything ends.”
“Hmmm,” I say, hoping I sound thoughtful.The truth is, I’m more than a little tipsy.“Thass good.So I can stop anything anytime on the show?”
Emmett comes all the way into my bedroom and sits down on the bed.“Well, yeah, but didn’t you read the agreement?You can use your safe word, but if you do, you’re disqualified.Off the show.”
“What?”That sobers me up a bit.“For good?”
Emmett nods.“It’s a great idea.For one thing, it ensures that the Dom doesn’t push his sub too far just for the points.Doms and subs are a package deal.If she uses her safe word, they’re both disqualified.It’s also a surefire way to weed out the good Doms from the great ones.A good Dom may pull back to make sure his sub doesn’t use her safe word.A great Dom will know just how far he can push her boundaries without her using her safe word.But don’t worry.I promise you’ll never have to use your safe word with me.”He glances at the packet.“Do you have to pick one now?”
I nod, picking up the pen.“Yeah.But I’ve got it.”
He cocks an eyebrow at me.“What is it?”
“Tony.Just to make sure I remember what I’m giving up if I ever decide to use it.Which I won’t,” I add with steely resolve.
