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I laughed. “Yeah. It’s not as simple as that.”
“Ah, you’re not attracted to him?”
I shrugged. “Not really. I’m notnotattracted to him. I just… We don’t have that kind of relationship.” And we didn’t. I thought of him as a friend – a good friend that I loved – but not one I felt like having sex with.
“Any interest in getting that kind of relationship?”
That was the million-dollar question. At the back on my head was the constant knowledge that Apollo and I had to change at some point. We were going to marry. We’d agreed. We hadn’t said in so many words, but we knew that our relationship would have to change at some point so our marriage wasn’t total shit. We’d just never talked about how or when that was going to happen. I had the distinct impression that I spent a lot more time thinking about it than he did. Maybe if I could be bothered going to the effort of getting laid, I wouldn’t think about it so much either.
I nudged her gently with fondness. “For him – for them – passion and marriage are separate. Your wife needs to be kept sweet and respectable, worthy of mothering your kids. You have…Magdalens to curb your sexual cravings.”
“You were going to say whores,” she teased.
I nodded. “I was going to say whores.”
Florence snorted. “He does know you don’t just want vanilla missionary sex your whole life, right?”
I sighed and risked voicing a long-quashed but not extinguished hope. “Yeah, unless I can get out–”
“Or pull a Khaleesi,” Florence offered.
“Go mad?”
“Was referring to the whole taming her husband with the power of her pussy thing, but you do you.”
I smiled. “Barring either of those scenarios, I don’t have a lot of choice.”
“Okay.” She nodded. “Then we go all Khaleesi on his cock.”
I loved that Florence never pushed me. She never tried to make me feel bad. She accepted my acceptance, as far as I had actually accepted my fate. She knew I was watching for a way out, but she knew just as well as I how unlikely that would be. She knew why I put up with Apollo, his behaviour, his unfaithfulness, and the way he treated me. She knew there were bigger things here than just me letting a man walk all over me and treat me like crap. If I could stand up for myself, I would. When I could, I would.
“And how do we go all Khaleesi on his cock?” I asked, happy to talk through hypotheticals. “I love you, but I don’t want to offer him a threesome with you.”
“Just with me, or have you ruled threesomes out entirely?”
I smirked.
“Oh. Juicy. Do tell.”
I shook my head. “No. Just… Once?” I said and she nodded eagerly. “I dreamt about them both having me at the same time.”
“Heavens to Betsy,” she breathed, fanning herself with her free hand. “The God and his avenging Angel?”
I nodded.
She nodded as well. “Yeah. I’d take that sandwich, please and thank you. Use me up and leave me ruined for all others!”
We burst into laughter. She was laughing so hard that when I elbowed her jokingly, she toppled over onto the floor, which only served to set us off even harder.
Chapter Five
After school on Monday, Florence and I did our usual choir practice, then she went off to the Art Studio and I went to find Apollo. It was habit for me. I did it every week. Had done for the previous four years. Three weeks into the school year, it wasn’t an abnormality.
Still, as I opened his door, the noise should have warned me what I was walking in on. But my ears didn’t seem very well connected to my brain, because I didn’t stop.
And there he was, balls deep in yet another Magdalen. She was completely naked, splayed stomach down against his window as he took her from behind. He himself was in nothing but an open shirt and – I hoped – a condom.
She moaned and whimpered like an actress in a cheesy porno. Telling him how big he felt and how good he was.
