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That was scarily fair. The women in our lives were what our world had made them.
“It’s not quite that sad. But I am going to be his wife. I’m going to bear his children, and throw his dinner parties, and show off the picture-perfect family to land that deal in Japan,” I said. Frenella and Mum had trained me well, beginning before the marriage contract but increased ten-fold since. Instructed me in everything the wife of a peer and a peer’s daughter should be. What was expected.
“So, explain to me this fake thing,” Florence warned. “If it’s gonna happen, why fake it now? Are there rules?”
“Kind of,” I admitted. “We haven’t exactly sat down and made a list, but we’re free to be with other people, so long as we keep it discrete–”
“Yeah, he’s about as discrete as–”
“I know. But I’m going to be his proper, upstanding wife. I’m not the girl he bends over his desk and fucks until he absolutely ruins her. I’m not the girl he…” I searched for anything even remotely kinky, or dirty, or most likely fun. “The girl he chokes. The girl he fucks hard and fast until she’s screaming his name. The girl he throws against the closest surface because heneeds her, right then and right there.”
“Oh,” she chuckled. “And you definitely haven’t thought about this at all.”
“I don’t think about…fucking Apollo,” I said honestly.
“No,” she said with a wicked grin. “No. That honour goes to someone else.”
I frowned at her. The problem with sharing a room at boarding school with someone for over four years was that, if you were to ever talk in your sleep, even once, you can guarantee it’d be during term time, when they were in the room, while they were awake. And you can bet that if wouldn’t just be a mumble, it’d be grabbing the bed sheets and moaning his name so there was absolutely no way she didn’t know what you were dreaming. It was a testament to our friendship that that incident hadn’t been as embarrassing as it could have been.
“I know!” she said, holding up her hands, one still holding mine. “I know. No one is allowed to know that the dreams you can in no way control are filled with a man you should in no way be thinking of.”
“Boy,” I corrected her.
She scoffed. “He is all man, sister.” She nudged me. “Hang on, if you’re allowed to see other people, why can’t youseehim?” She didn’t need to so heavily emphasise the word for us to both know that’s not what she’d meant.
I huffed, trying to put all thoughts onhimout of my head. Little difficult if I had to explain myself to her.
Other than I hated him?“He’s Apollo’s…” I breathed out heavily, wondering how to best explain in that would make sense.
“Tame wolf. Hired assassin. Mindless drone,” she offered.
I smirked. “They are blindly loyal to each other. It took less than a year for them to become like brothers,” I told her.
“Brothers?”
I nodded. “In all but blood. As far as I know, he firmly believes I’m totally Apollo’s.”
“Ah,” she said. “Which is why he beats any dude who looks in your vague direction even though you’re allowed to see other people.”
“That’s my guess. And even if he did know I wasn’t now, he knows I will be. If there was a single chance in hell that he’d think about me like that, he’d never touch me. His God’s girl? Not a fucking chance.”
“Okay, well, is it possible for you to look at any other guy and feel even a slight tingle in your pussy?” she asked.
I batted her. “I’m not quite so far gone over him that I can’t even look at another guy.”
“Aren’t you? Show me all these guys you’d be happy to fuck,” she begged. “Let me sort it out for you. I can beverydiscrete.”
I had no doubt that Florence could be. Valen had whipped the true fear of God into the guys of Saint Benedicts but, if there was anyone who could get me laid behind his watchful eyes, it was Florence Walton.
But I sighed. “Okay, fine,” I admitted, without having to admit that it was all Valen’s fault. “I am yet to find a guy I’m interested in enough to go to the bother of it all.”
Because it was true. Every time I looked at a guy in any sexual capacity, all I did was compare him to Valen fucking Kincaid. The harder I tried not to, the worse it was. And no one could ever come close to making me feel what Valen made me feel by just thinking about those disdainful stormy eyes. Combined with the effort in sneaking around behind Valen’s back, it was all too damned hard. I had a vibrator. It got the job done. For now.
She nodded. “The laziness is strong.”
“The laziness is strong,” I agreed.
“So, we just have to get Apollo to want to ruin you?” she suggested.
