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“No, I told you—”
“Tess, you shouldn’t be alone right now.” I was already putting on my shoes. Fuck waiting until tomorrow.
“I’m fine.”
“Repeating the word ‘fine’ over and over won’t make it true. It’s obvious you’re not fine, and pretending nothing’s wrong isn’t going to make it any better. Trust me on that. You need to talk to someone, and I’m the only one who understands what you’re going through. Let me come over.” I snatched my keys and wallet off the counter while I waited for her answer.
I heard her sigh, followed by a sniffle. “Fine.”
* * *
I could tell Tess had been crying as soon as she opened the door. She’d tried to hide it by washing her face, but there was no mistaking the telltale red blotches staining her pale complexion.
“You didn’t have to come,” she said, sounding resentful.
She could be hacked off at me if she wanted. I was used to it by now. I could barely even remember a time she didn’t hate my guts.
After hanging my jacket by the door, I followed her into the apartment, which was messier than the last time I’d seen it. A large cardboard box sat on the living room floor, while clothes and papers and other random objects littered the couch and coffee table.
“What’s all this?” As I gestured to the mess, I noted the bottle of whiskey and half-full glass sitting in the midst of the clutter.
“Memories.”
I looked more closely at the items sitting out. There were some old journals and spiral notebooks that looked like they might have been from high school, a bunch of clothes, a half-finished pile of knitting, and one of those plastic hospital wristbands.
Then I realized. These were the things Tess had saved from when she was pregnant. No wonder she’d sounded so odd on the phone.
She stooped to retrieve her whiskey glass from the coffee table and downed the remaining contents before waggling it at me. “You want some?”
“No thanks.” At least one of us should probably stay clearheaded.
“Suit yourself.” She dropped onto the couch and reached for the bottle of Teeling to refill her glass.
Shifting some things from the couch to the coffee table, I made a space so I could sit next to her. “Today was hard, I take it?”
“You could say that.” She looked like she was carrying the weight of the whole world on her shoulders. Typical Tess, thinking she had to do everything by herself. But this wasn’t something she should have to deal with alone any more than she should have had to do it back in high school.
“Did Erin say something to upset you?” I’d been worried she might be angry at us for giving her up, especially if her life with her adoptive parents had been less than ideal. There was no telling what she’d been through or how much she blamed us for it.
I was relieved when Tess shook her head.
“No, nothing like that. She was lovely. Really…” Her chest hitched as she drew in a breath. “She’s perfect, actually. So beautiful and kind and smart. She’s amazing.” Choking on a sob, she scrubbed away a tear that had slipped down her cheek. “She’s just this amazing, perfect person.”
I’d never seen Tess cry before. She’d always been so strong-willed, so completely in control of herself and everyone else around her. My brain didn’t know how to process a Tess who cried. Fortunately, after twenty years of marriage and two kids, I’d gotten pretty good at offering comfort when faced with tears, and my instincts took over.
Settling my arm around Tess’s shoulders, I drew her toward me. She stiffened initially, like she was about to pull away. But when another sob racked her body, she sagged against me. Carefully, I took the glass out of her hand and set it on the coffee table before wrapping her up in my arms.
“She looks so much like you,” Tess mumbled into my chest. “It’s unbelievable. It’s like I was just the incubator for your clone.”
I stroked my hand over her hair. “Is that what you’re upset about?”
“No. I mean, yes, it pisses me off. But no. That’s not what this is about.”
“Then what?”
“I don’t even know what I’m so upset about.” She shifted in my arms, tucking herself more firmly against me.
A strong protective instinct overwhelmed me as I held her. Instead of the bitterness I usually felt around Tess, all I could think about was how much I wanted to keep her close and shield her from anything that could hurt her.
