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“Yeah? That’s a good idea, right?”
He swallowed again, and attempted a smile. “Good idea.”
“So, from now on we’re Mendezes.”
“Yes. Dupree is dead.”
As the gravesite cleared of mourners cloaked in black, Sally and AJ remained, standing solemnly and silently.
AJ couldn’t shake the image of his mother, smiling at him, loving on him. That was the woman he wanted to remember, not the shell of a wife who finally crumbled, finding her end in pills and booze.
Lisana had found her. She’d left no note. No goodbye. And her children grieved for her, raged for her. But neither AJ nor Sally could understand why, if she was so miserable, she hadn’t just left. AJ would have welcomed her to Miami with open arms. He would have taken care of her, helping her get back on her feet. He loved her. She was his mother.
So why, in the end, had she chosen to die rather than to live?
Love. For whatever fucked up reason, his mother loved his father. And it had killed her.
“What are you thinking about so hard over there?” Sally asked, interrupting his thoughts.
“I just don’t understand why she stayed even after you left. I figured that she was there because he wouldn’t let you leave, and she didn’t want to abandon you to him. But even after you moved to Miami with me, she was there, taking his abuse, having his mistresses thrown in her face.”
“Honestly, I think she spent most of the time drunk. When she wasn’t drunk, she was sleeping. And…well, as horrible as it sounds, she actually loved him.”
“He ruined her!”
“Yeah, but before that he was the charming older man who’d made promises of a beautiful life and family. She was too young and sheltered to realize she was being manipulated by a pro. He was handsome, said all the right things, and she fell hard.”
“But once she saw him for who he truly was—”
“She still loved him. That was Mama, though. She loved deeply. It didn’t matter that her husband was a cheating asshole, it mattered that she was in love with him, no matter how much it hurt. That’s why she drank. The pain. She couldn’t stop loving him even when she wanted to hate him.”
“He didn’t deserve a woman like Mama.”
“No, he didn’t.”
“The sad part is, she could have actually found someone who would’ve loved her just as deeply, but she fell for him instead.” AJ wanted to scream at the unfairness of it all.
“We can’t change the past, AJ, as much as I wish we could….” AJ watched his sister’s face, noting her expression. The way her eyes grew hazy, the way her jaw muscles tightened. She was slipping into memories.
“No, we cannot change the past,” he agreed, and Sally blinked, lifting her face to look at him again, her memories once again hidden. “But we can change what we will do in the future.”
“What do you mean?” Sally tipped her head quizzically before meeting his gaze, her eyes beginning to brighten. Warmth spilled through his chest. He wanted this for his sister—this hope of happiness.
You deserve that, too.
“I mean that…I want to find a woman who will love me as deeply as Mama loved him. And when I find her, I will be everything our father wasn’t. I will cherish her, adore her, and treat her like a goddamned queen.”
“That’s great and all, but what if you don’t find someone like that? This world is full of posers who act one way but are really another.”
They knew that from experience—their father being the biggest poser there was.
“I don’t know exactly, I just know that I won’t settle for just anyone. She has to be special.”
“How will you know, though?”
“I just will.” He grinned at Sally, his heart suddenly lighter than it had been in years. He dragged in a deep breath, closed his eyes, and said, “My heart will know her when I see her.”
FROM THE DESK OF AJ MENDEZ
