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“Yeah, if I did that, I’d look like someone stretched too small rubber bands over a bag of pink Playdoh.” She snickered humorlessly. “A guy would take one look at me and either run away in horror or vomit.” Again, she tried to laugh off her words.
Sally’s bright smile fell right off her face, her gaze narrowing. Anger pinched her lovely features until she looked livid enough to light the room on fire.
“Don’t you fucking dare talk about yourself like that,” she snapped, making Maeve fall back against the booth, her mouth hanging open. “Don’t you fucking say shit like that. Do you see me? Anna? Do you think that because we’re not size 12s and our thighs touch that we’re unfit, unworthy of the love of our men? That we somehow tricked them into loving us and accepting us—hell, worshipping us?”
Maeve swallowed, shaking her head. “Of course, not! You two are gorgeous! Sly and Blaze are lucky men,” she replied honestly. Sally and Anna were two of the most beautiful and confident women Maeve had ever met. It was one of the reasons Maeve gravitated toward them despite her natural and ingrained awkwardness.
Sally leaned forward as if to lay into Maeve once again, but Anna’s gentle hand on Sally’s shoulder made the other woman look at her. The tension in her shoulders dipped. Anna braced her elbows against the table, her gaze gliding over Maeve’s features, her expression softening.
“I have to tell you something, Mae. I was like you, not that long ago.”
“How do you mean?” From what Maeve knew, Anna and Blaze had been in love with each other for decades. How could Anna possibly know what it felt like to be the gargoyle?
“I know you’re probably thinking ‘how could Anna be like me? She has the hotness that is Blaze.’ Well, I didn’t always have Blaze, and there are a few things you need to know. First, Blaze was my best friend for years before we ever became more. For us, it wasn’t just about how I never felt like I matched up to the women slinking through his revolving door. It was also about the fact that the asshole honestly believed he wasn’t good enough for me.”
“You can’t be serious? That man is amazing!” Great boss, honest, loyal, hardworking. He was the ideal man…for someone like Anna. It would only ever be AJ for Maeve.
“Not kidding. Because his father was a sick, sadistic bastard, Blaze grew up believing he couldn’t have anything good in his life. He’d been in love with me since high school, but he never acted on it until…well—”
“Anna cut him off like a rotten limb and left his ass flapping in the wind. He realized real quick that he needed to figure his shit out or lose her forever,” Sally interjected wryly.
Anna skewered Sally with a glare. “Yeah, that. Second, never base how you feel about yourself on what other people think of you. You will always be your own #1 fan. If you don’t like yourself, no one else will, either. Not really. You can’t really let anyone else in unless you’re accepting of everything that makes up Maeve Thomas.”
Oh, that’s all it is? It’s that easy?she snarked mentally. Nothing was that easy.
The urge to tell them everything about her sorry life slammed into her, building like rushing flood waters behind a dam. Building, pushing. Water rising against the crumbling wall…. Finally, it broke. “It’ll never happen, then. I don’t know about you, but all my life, all I’ve ever heard was that I was ugly, fat, useless, worthless, and would never find someone to love me. That’s all I ever wanted…someone to love me for me, to see through the layers of fat and weird features to the woman beneath it all.”
Anna shook her head and Sally cocked hers to the side, peering into Maeve’s eyes. Maeve had expected to see pity or sympathy or surprise on their faces, but she saw none of that. She saw…understanding.
“Whoever made you feel that way should have their teeth punched out, one by one, with the pointy end of a rusty ice skate,” Sally declared.
Anna grimaced. “What the hell, Sallina?”
Sally shrugged. “I saw it on Castaway with Tom Hanks.”
The flood kept coming. “My father. My snobby bitch of a cousin. My step-mother. All the kids in every grade I’ve ever been in. I didn’t even make a real friend until college where I met a pretty cool chick who had far more insecurities than I did…and we just clicked. I admit, I hide behind plain, baggy clothes. I’m trying to keep eyes off my flaws. I’m so sick of the sneers and the looks of disgust, and the comments people don’t even bother to whisper. I hide because it’s easier than facing down every one.”
“But don’t you want people to actually see you, who you really are?” Anna asked, her brow furrowed.
“Of course, I do. But what are the chances of that happening?”
Sally, the luscious sex goddess she was, clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes, laughing. “You stick with us, we’ll get you laid.”
Maeve nearly choked on air.
“What? No—”
Sally chuckled, her brilliant green eyes, so like her brother’s, glimmering mischievously. “What? Don’t want to get the love stick in the love tunnel? Don’t want to know what it feels like to have a man worship you? There is one out there for you, Maeve, you just have to take a few risks. Now, I know shedding the shit colored skirts is going to be scary, but I honestly think you’re beautiful, and if you have a little faith in yourself, you can become the woman you were meant to be.”
“I don’t know….” Lord, it sounded terrifying, just letting herself peek out from her shell. A shell that even now kept her from the one thing she wanted the most.
AJ Mendez.
Maybe this was what she needed, a little—okay, big!—push. Maybe with Sally and Anna’s help, she could get her shit together, grow some lady balls, and finally reveal herself to the man she loved.
Can I really do this?
“Come on, Mae,” Anna encouraged. “I know Sally can be a bit much, but out of the three of us, she is the curvy sex guru—never a bad body day in her life.”
