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Chapter 12
What’s made my marriage last 41 years is making each other laugh nearly every day. - Rosemarie, Annandale, VA
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And sure enough, thenext words out of Peyton’s mouth were, “I didn’t like who I was becoming. I hated my mother-in-law because she made snide comments about how I couldn’t keep a man. She’d invite my husband and his girlfriend over to eat, which was very awkward.”
“You should have moved out.”
“Yeah. I couldn’t afford to. I... I had a young son and no job. The house at least was paid for, but yeah. That’s what I worked toward, saving up enough money that I could move somewhere and start a little business of my own. I finally saved enough, and there was the store available in Sweet Water, and I thought I could give it a shot.”
“I see. I understand now why you said what you did when you first came here. About how you had to make sure your business was successful.”
“Yeah. Everything hinges on that. I mean, I guess I could go back and live with my former mother-in-law, but I’m guessing, although I could be wrong, my ex has probably moved his new girlfriend in.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah. I promised not to contest the divorce if I was allowed to live in the house as long as I wanted to. We got that in writing, and he actually kept his word on that.”
“Once they break their word, they’ll do it again and again.” He could write the book on people who made promises they didn’t keep, who weren’t loyal, and who did what was best for themselves, not caring what they said they’d do.
She had told the story so easily. Without deep emotion and without anger or bitterness. He admired that. Even as he was attracted to it. She had a way about her that made him feel like she was an anchor. Unmovable. She’d stand by someone forever.
“So, I started looking at my divorce as providing lessons God wanted to teach me.”
“That’s smart.” He should do that. The anger and the bitterness tried to rise up in his chest, and he worked on pushing it down, even while he listened to her. “Did you find any?” he asked. His plate was empty, his fork lay on the table, but he didn’t think of cutting their conversation short.
“A ton.” Her words were sure, like there was no doubt in her mind that God had lessons to teach her and it wasn’t hard to find them. “It grew my faith too. I knew I couldn’t depend on people. On men. But I could depend on God.”
“Not all men are like that,” he said. Although, he said it with a little bit of guilt, because there was a time in his life where he wasn’t a man of character. He still had to work on doing the right thing.
“No. And I suppose that’s a lesson I learned. Or something similar. Humanity is broken. There isn’t anyone who’s going to be perfect all the time. You’re never going to look around and find that perfect person. Including yourself. We are all sinful. We all have areas that we’re working on. We all...sin.”
“Some people just do it bigger than others.”
“Yeah, that’s true. And you can’t look around with a negative attitude. But I figured out that we can’t expect people to do things, to behave a certain way, because we’re just setting ourselves up for disappointment and failure. We can expect good thingsforthem, so we’re not looking at them through rose-colored glasses, but we want good things for them. We cheer them on when they do well. But we can’t expect good thingsfromthem.”
“Still, don’t you get hurt when they don’t do those good things you expect? When they flop?”
“I think if you’re going to get married, you need to find someone who knows how to keep their word. Who doesn’t believe in divorce. But you just have to understand that you can’t expect perfection out of anyone around you any more than they can expect perfection out of you. Because you’re just going to be disappointed in each other. You just need to live life, ready to offer grace. It will be a daily, hourly, offering.”
Some things were just too big to overlook. He wanted her to see that.
“If your husband cheated on you and apologized and wanted to come back, would you have taken him?”
He didn’t know why he was playing devil’s advocate, and she kind of smiled like she knew he was asking her a question that almost couldn’t be answered.
“I don’t think so. I think once the vows are broken, that’s it. Although, I do know people who have put their marriages back together, and some people who just know that their husband can’t be faithful, and they stay with him anyway. I admire people like that, but I don’t think I would want to be one. Mostly because I wouldn’t want that example for my son.”
“Yeah,” he said, thinking about his daughter and her examples. He hadn’t been the best example for her. He hadn’t cheated on anyone, but he hadn’t handled the trial God had given him very well either.
“How old is your daughter?” Peyton asked as she scraped the last of the crumbs off her plate.
“She’s ten,” he said.
