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I’m having a baby. Baby. My baby.
She took a deep breath. She hadn’t planned this. Hadn’t even known she wanted it. But fierce joy rose up within her. She wanted it—him, her, they, however they would identify—without hesitation.
She would have this child and love them with all her heart. And she owed it to her offspring to give their father the choice of whether or not he wanted to play an active role in child-rearing. She wouldn’t force Xavier to be a dad, but she wouldn’t shut him out either.
But what if he fought her for custody?
It was a chilling thought and a hazard of having sex with a man she didn’t know.
They’d used condoms to prevent this. Odds were, he wouldn’t want the baby or responsibility.
She spent an hour going over all the ramifications, but in the end, it came down to one simple truth: she had to tell Xavier she was having his child. She might not know how to reach him, but Jae did. Anything less than telling him right away would be wrong.
She paced her house, then went for a long walk to build her courage. Should she ask for Xavier’s number? What if Xavier specifically told Jae not to pass on his number? How would she feel if Jae shared that bit with her? He’d warned her Xavier didn’t do relationships, and Xavier had made it clear there was no future in his goodbye. It was an awkward situation to put a friend in.
She walked aimlessly for two hours, and without entirely realizing how she’d got there, she found herself on the top level of the waterfront tower in Port Angeles, looking out over the Strait of Juan de Fuca toward Canada.
She’d been in a daze of joy mixed with fear. Excitement warring with a slightly broken heart.
Xavier’s rejection in those last moments had stung. He might reject his child too.
What if he thought she was making this up as a reason to see him? He’d discover the truth soon enough, but still. The suspicion would hurt.
She took a deep breath and pulled her phone from her pocket. She found Jae in her contacts list and hit the button.
Her heart pounded fiercely, and she wasn’t even calling Xavier yet.
It was a relief when her call rolled to voicemail. “Hey, Jae, it’s Audrey. I need you to do me a favor. Can you call Xavier and tell him to call me? It’s important. Thanks.” She hung up. If Jae didn’t guess that meant she was pregnant, it would be a miracle.
It felt a little wrong. After all, the baby’s father should be the first person she told, but what else could she do?
She spent the rest of that Sunday in a daze, wandering her house, holding her phone. Waiting for either Jae or Xavier to call. She slept fitfully in spite of her pregnancy-induced exhaustion.
No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t stop herself from fantasizing that Xavier would be thrilled. Over time, they’d fall in love. They’d be a family.
It wasn’t a ridiculous dream, was it? The chemistry had been there. Given a chance, maybe they could go the distance?
She wanted to talk to a friend, to share this momentous news, but it didn’t feel right to tell Undine before telling Xavier. Audrey couldn’t share the news and celebrate until her baby’s father knew.
And if he wasn’t as excited as she was, that was fine. She’d be able to confide in Undine and other friends. The girlfriend brigade would share her joy and lift her spirits.
Monday morning, she dressed for work, exhausted, but her brain still buzzing. She’d try Jae again during her lunch break if she didn’t hear from him or Xavier by then.
She arrived at the office and went straight to the break room for her morning coffee. She stopped short as she reached for her mug from the shelf. Was she supposed to give up caffeine? She probably should have downloaded a pregnancy guide or something yesterday. She let out a small laugh. It would be just like Amazon to know she was pregnant before anyone else. But then, Google and Facebook probably already knew.
She went to the never-used, orange-handled, decaf coffee maker and brewed a pot. If Jae stopped by the office this morning, he’d know for sure. Steaming mug in hand, she made her way to her office, hoping the placebo effect worked for caffeine.
At the far end of the long hallway, standing outside the main conference room, was a man in military uniform. It was an unusual sight, but he probably was here about the Navy proposal that had crossed her desk a few weeks ago. Jeb had been right about the Navy wanting to use the lodge and grounds for some kind of training exercise. They’d attempted to rush it through with minimal environmental evaluation, and after the looting at the site, she’d been doubly concerned over the Navy’s callous disregard for addressing historic property protection and preservation.
She’d denied the permit for the coming winter season and told them to come back with more data next year. It would take at least six months to properly review the potential impact to cultural resources. They should have started the process earlier.
No doubt this guy was here to complain. He could take it up with her boss, the park superintendent. She had preservation law and the State Historic Preservation Office on her side.
She was halfway down the hall—almost to her office—when she glanced at the man again and found him staring at her.
Her coffee mug slipped from her hand and shattered on the hard floor. “Xavier? What are you doing here?”
And then it hit her. Jae had contacted him. And Xavier, likely guessing what she had to tell him, had come here in person to receive the news.
