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No.
Ilovedit.
Every delicious second.
I hate myself for it.
When I spot Cat, I pull her away from Colby, who she’s dancing with. “I’m sorry, Cat, but can you come with me for a few?” I feel bad taking her away from having fun. I don’t want her to miss out, so I decide not to elaborate and ruin her night.
“What’s up? Are you okay?” Cat eyes me, and I know she must see the streaks of tears.
“Yeah, I’m not feeling well. I wanted to tell you I’m going to bed.”
“Oh no, Lo. I’m so sorry.” She checks her phone. “It’s only nine. They haven’t even done the fireworks yet.”
“I know. But I really just want to lie down.”
“I’ll come with you then.”
“No, you stay and enjoy the party.”
“Are you sure? Want me to find Tyler?”
My body tenses at the mention of his name, but thankfully, Cat doesn’t seem to notice. Yet I’m still surprised she offered that. “No. I’m good. Night, Cat.” I pull her in for a hug and inhale her familiar scent. It’s comforting; she’s had the same scent since first grade.
She squeezes me tight, and I disappear into the house.
* * *
Once inside Cat’s and my shared room, I collapse onto the twin bed I’m using and blow out a breath. My lips still burn and tingle. I reach up and touch them and notice they’re swollen and tender.
Damn, that boy can kiss.
Not that I have much to compare it to.
Maybe it’s time to find that out. Maybe I should find Bobby and see what he can do.
Why are you lying to yourself right now?
You know damn well you don’t want to kiss anyone but Tyler.
And it drives you mad.
Sigh. Shut up, stupid brain.
And stupid heart.
What good are either of you?
Nothing but fools.
I should just go back down to the party, tell Tyler we’re just friends like we’ve been doing, and move on with the night.
Why do I always run away? Why can’t I just face my shit?
I’m going to have to face him again, anyway. Because he’s our ride home tomorrow. Which will now be awkward, and Cat will be suspicious.
I grab a pillow and scream into it.
