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It’s almost loud enough to muffle the sound of the knock on the door.
“Lo? Are you in there? Cat said you went to bed.”
Tyler. My stomach free-falls. I’m afraid to answer him, afraid to see what he has to say, or more like afraid of what he or I might do. Because if the kiss broke the seal on our romantic relationship, we’re screwed.
Ugh, Cat, why did you tell him I went to bed?I groan and toss the pillow aside.
“Come in,” I call and sit up.
Tyler walks in and shuts the door softly behind him. “Hey. Cat said you weren’t feeling well. Can I get you anything?”
“No, I’m fine.”
“You sure? There’s probably ginger ale or a medicine cabinet around here.”
“I feel fine, Ty. I just said that as an excuse.”
“Oh. Shit.” Tyler exhales as he sits next to me on the bed. “It’s because of me, isn’t it? I’m sorry, Lo. I’m a fucking idiot.”
“So am I.”
“No, you’re not. I kissed you first.”
“But I kissed you back.”
“So? That doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does! Ever heard the phrase it takes two to tango?”
Tyler bursts out laughing. “Sorry. You’re just adorable. Of course, I’ve heard it. From my parents.”
I smile and feel my shoulders relax, my posture less tense. “Still the truth.”
“How about we just start the night over?” Tyler asks. “I’m sorry for being an asshole. It’s just as soon as I saw you having a good time with some other guy… fuck, I don’t know what took over me. But it’s not worth fucking up how far we’ve come with our friendship. So next time, I’ll walk away and butt out.”
His willingness to admit his screw-up and care about my feelings softens something inside me. He really would rather keep me as a friend than nothing at all. But how can friends work if he’s jealous? And could I even see him with another girl?
I picture him talking and laughing with another girl or touching the side of her face the way he does mine and leaning in for a kiss…NO!
Everything inside me screams as my stomach twists like a sandstorm. My mouth waters, and I feel like I’m going to throw up.
I’d hate it. I’d hate itso much.
Can I really blame him, then?
No, I can’t.
But it leads me back to the same point—how will we ever be friends?
“I can’t get mad when I’d react the same way,” I whisper.
“What?” Ty says. “What do you mean?”
I speak louder. “I’d go crazy too if I saw you talking to another girl.”
Tyler studies me hard. I can see him from the corner of my eye. Then I feel his finger hook under my chin and nudge my head toward him.
When I turn my head and we lock eyes, it’s like we lock hearts, too. Our heartbeats match, beat for beat, pound for pound.
