AllFreeNovel
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She’s the only person Iwant, and I can’t have her.
* * *
I spenda week in the hospital before they discharge me with a list of medications and follow-up appointments, along with a wheelchair anda pairof crutches. The wheelchair is mostly a backup, for when my arms get tired, or I’m not feeling like the crutches.
Over next couple of weeks, I stayed home while I healed. Axel came by every day, bringing me anything I needed from the store, along with lots of prepared foods donated from local restaurants, a program set up to help during times of hardship. The drivers are always well taken care of when they’re hurt, or just in general, and it’s nice not to feel alone through all of it. Especially because of how much Axel stepped up. Without him, I probably would’ve needed more help. I can’t thank him enough.
I’m able to get around the house easily, but I spend most of my time outside. Thinking, relaxing, hell I’ve even started reading some historical fiction. I know, crazy right?
What kills me the most from this entire accident is that it’s my best season yet, and I can’t even finish it. I lie awake at night, going over the race that day. A little less drift, a little less speed, so many variables I could’ve changed, should’ve changed if I had been focusing.
Butinstead,a beautiful woman was front and center, where she still is, driving me insane from the inside out.
She’s all I think about, the person I want to spend all my time with, and fuck, do I miss her. I miss everything aboutherfrom her smell to her soft skin. Her laughter, her cries, her jabs and teases.
What ajackassI was for calling her a prude and telling her she blows shit up. I was mad, so fucking mad, and said stupid things. And then broke it off like an idiot. She has turned my career around in so many ways. Her work ethic shines in everything she does, andshe knows her stuff. Her experience in the motorsports world is impeccable. And on top of all our time together, she still always treated me professionally and got me the best appearances and hookups.
Fuck, I’ve been such a dick.
Axel told me she was at the hospital. The day I crashed, she rushed there with the rest of the guys, waiting for any type of news. When he went back the next morning, she was still there, curled up on the chairs waiting. She had spent the night, forgoing sleep and her comfort to wait and make sure I made it.
And then he found her crying by my bedside, but she took off as soon as he walked in.
I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t think she came at all. I kept hoping she’d show upagain, butshe didn’t. And I keep hoping every day I’ll hear from her or that she’ll show up here on my doorstep.
“She loves you, Luca. It’s written plain as day all over her face. And I’m pretty fucking sure you love her too.” Axel’s words replay in my head.
He’s right. I do fucking love her. I have for a while, but it’s too late now.Everything is fucked. We’ll never get back to where we were before.
Maybe we justweren’t meantto be.
* * *
“Come on, man, you’re going,”Axel snaps as he points at my crutches leaning against the wall in front of me the following week.Fuck, he’s not letting this go.
“Why? I’m not finishing the season out, so why do I need to be there? What is sogoddamnimportant?” I don’t budge from where I’m sitting. The last thing I want to do is go to a work function. I’m not even a part of the team right now.
“You’re important. It’s not like you quit the team. You’re coming back when you’re all finished healing. And the boss wants you there. Let’s go.”
I still don’t move.What if she’s there?My heart pulses in my chest like it wants to crack through my ribs. Can I handle seeing her?
“I’ll carry you outside, man. I don’t care.” Axel moves to lift me, and I hold up a hand to stop him.
“Alright, alright. I’m going. Let’s just get it the fuck over with.”
An hour later, we’re knee-deep in interviews and pictures, and it’s fucking exhausting. Lots of questions about the crash and how I’mhealingeven though we released a statement when it happened.Many people came up to me and although it felt a little superficial, it was nice lots of guys in the pits wanted to add their names to my cast.
Finally, I’m left alone for a few minutes. If I have to explain the crash one more time, I’m going to punch my hand through a wall, probably break it too.
I’m ready to go now. All I want is a beer, my couch, and my TV. But it looks like that’s not happeninganytimesoon, so I hobble over to the refreshments table and grab a bottle of water. I sit off to the side, and people watch, listening to other’s chat, most of the conversations mindless.
“She’s a bitch.”
I hear from the three people standing next to me. Idon’t pay muchattention to it until I hear her name. Neveah Walker.
One guy, the tall, thin one, is wearing a suit and tie, while the other two shorter guys have racing jackets on from another race team. The two in the race jackets I’ve seen around plenty of times, drivers we frequently race against, but I don’t recognize suit guy.
Leaning a few inches to the left, I listen morecloselyand zero in on their conversation, suit guy doing the talking. “She walks around here like her shit doesn’t stink just because she’s daddy’s girl. Please, what do they sponsor like two drivers? The business is sinking fast, andhonestly, goodbye. Thinking a guy like LucaDeMellocan save her ass? Still a badboywho crashes, ending his season early. Realgood choice, Neveah.”
