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The two drivers don’t say anything, both of them silent, as this clown continues to trash talk Neveah.
“Her father thought no one could do a better job than his perfect daughter. Even though I know my shit. I can get any driver to sign on. I’m the best there is, I should be doing her job. But no, Andy Walker have anyone do the job besides his daughter? Of course fucking not.”
My face grows hot. It feels likeI’ve been slappedacross the cheek.Wow. Who the fuck are these people? They can say what they want about me. I don’t give a fuck. But not her. Do they even know the real Neveah? She’s none of that!
Suit guy continues to bad-mouthNeveah, and I can’tfuckingstand it any longer. “Hey!” I shout, making sure they can hear me.
All three turn to look at me, one turning away and snickering while the other two stare at me with wide eyes and open mouths.
“You know what? Get your facts straight before you rip someone apart. The fuckups were all me. Shewas the one that kept shit together. She’s the reason I had the best damn season of my life, and the crash had nothing to do with her. Accidents fuckinghappen. Go fucking talking smack somewhere else. It’s unwanted around here.”
I don’t wait around to hear if they have anything to say. I need to get the fuck out of here before I explode or do something really fucking stupid. Without bothering to find Axel, I make my way outside and request an Uber from my phone.
What the fuck is wrong with people? If they actually knew her, they’d see she is the amazing one. She’s saving our assestime and again, caring about our careers and success as much as she cares about her own. She’s one of a kind. And I won’t ever stand to hear someone talk about her in a way that’s less than she deserves.
While I wait, I glance back at the door in hopes no one comes looking for me. The last thing I want is to be dragged back in there. But who Idosee surprises me. It’s AJ, Neveah’s brother. He’s out of breath, and when we make eye contact, my posture stiffens. Weird vibes fill the air between us, and I don’t know how to react, which leaves me standing there shifting my weight.
He opens his mouth to say something just as the Uber pulls up. I don’t wait to hear what he says, but I look back before climbing into the back seat of my ride. AJ hasn’t moved. He’s watching me leave with what seems like a grateful smile on his face. I tip my head toward him, and I’m gone.
21
Neveah
I leftmy house with the intention of driving to the hospital several times beforehe was discharged. I just couldn’t bring myself to make it all the way there.A couple of times, I sat outside of the hospital in my car and cried. Another time, I drove halfway there and went to the beach instead, where I sat on the rocks and screamed at the world for life and all its bullshit. Why can’t it just be easy?
I don’t know why I never actually go in and visit him. I can’t figure it out. Maybe I’m just afraid of being rejected again. To findout he doesn’t want me, or hell, doesn’t even love me as I dohimwould hurt like hell. I don’t think I can survive that pain. I’d just rather not know. Left in the dark is safer and less painful.
As the days go by, I feel myself moving through the motions, throwing myself into work, either locked up in my office or hiding out at home. Family dinners are awkward, but I go, knowing it means the world to my parents. My brother brings his girlfriend, which usually keeps the attention off me. No one mentions Luca, considering he’s not finishing theseason,making things easier for me.
But the world just feels so empty. So colorless. Going out for drinks isn’t appealing anymore. I’d rather stay home in my comfy pjs and watch mindless TV. It’s like I’ve lost interest in everything I used to enjoy.
Dull, boring, and beyond frustrating.
Even Mel can’t bring me out of the funk. And I don’t want to be a downer all the time while she’s having fun trying to make a baby, but she insists I’m not. She fills my ears with all things baby, and I just listen, happy for her and Mitch, the only smidgen of happiness I’ve felt since Luca broke things off.Mel is already calling me Auntie Nev. And she brings me laughter with her crazy stories. She read an article that said if she held her legs up in the air for twenty minutes after sex, the sperm will get to the egg way faster. Mitch looks at her like she’s nuts while her legs point at the ceiling.
After our conversations, I end up daydreaming about my future. I’ve always dreamed of a big wedding and becoming a mom. Mel and I raising our kids together, enjoying drinks as our littles play, and hopefully grow up as best friends. I picture Luca and I’s kids, adorable in every way, but every time, I have to stop myself and remember it won’t happen. It’s still nice to think about.
After saying my goodbyes, I walk to my parents’ door, another Saturday dinner in the books. It wasn’t awful thistime, and I think I actually laughed once or twice. Leanne is a funny, sweet girl. She’s hard not to like.
Just before Ihave a chance toopen the door, a hand grabs my arm and pulls me back. I spin around to find AJ. He shoves his hands in his pockets and hunches his shoulders, the same way he did as a young boy when he knew he didn’t act right.
I immediately go on the defense and cross my arms over my chest.
If he even tries to be rude to me…
We’ve barely spokenmore thantwo words to each other these past coupleof weeks, and I’m surprised he’s making the first move.
“Nev, wait. I need to tell you something.”
Idon’t say anythingand just wait for him to speak.The air swirling around us is thick, like being in a sauna where the hot air starts to choke you. I clear my throat and shift on my feet, but it doesn’t change anything. It’s sad we’re even here right now, a place our relationship doesn’t often go to.
“First, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come at you in the way I did at the track. It was wrong of me, and acting like an ass since has been pretty shitty too. You don’t deserve to be treated that way.”
I sigh, happy to feel the tension between us slip away. “Thanks, AJ. I appreciate your apology.”
He nods and shuffles his feet. “I saw Luca this past week at the track.”
My body tenses at the sound of his name. Ugh, did we really have to go here? Can’t we just stop at the apology? “Okay and…?” Iask, not sure where he’s going with this.
