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I shake my head and swallow back the tears threatening to spill over. “He hasn't told me any of this. None.”
“I'm not surprised. He's as closed off as they come. But keep working on him. He'll let you in, sooner rather than later. He just needs to forgive himself so he can move past Liz's death and find peace.”
I stand, leaning in to give Gramps a hug. Anybody would be lucky to have him as their grandfather. His support and advice are priceless. “Thank you. Thank you for sharing Cole’s past with me. I wish I could say things will work out, but I just don't know.”
That and the fact I'm waiting to hear about a job a few towns over. They're looking for someone to run their art museum, and I thought why not? It's an amazing opportunity where I could gain a lot of experience. Maybe I could even showcase my own work. I haven't told anyone yet. I've been secretly looking for apartments, the salary enough for me to afford to live on my own while growing my Etsy business.
But there’s something, something in the pit of my stomach that stops me.
Leaving so soon after settling in back here doesn’t sit well with me. I missed this beach and town immensely when I was gone, and even though I didn’t think I’d ever want to grow old here or even come back from New York, for that matter, I now know this is where I belong. This is home.
If Cole’s here in my home, so be it. Why do I need to leave?
The job opportunity … not many around here exist like that. A commute there every day is possible, but with an hour there and an hour back, it’ll eventually become draining with gas and wear and tear on my car.
Which I haven’t even driven yet since I walk everywhere. More expenses I didn’t think of, including car insurance, which I haven’t thought about in years.
“I understand. It’ll all work out in time. Come visit the shop on occasion. Don’t be a stranger.”
I nod and offer him my arm. “Let me help you.”
We walk slowly to the bottom of the rocky ledge, stopping at a good spot for Gramps to step down. Gramps chatters on about the weather and some guy who was rude to him in the market. I’ve missed his playful banter and his happy conversation. I wish my grandparents were still alive. I remember being close to my grandmother on my mother’s side, her house one of my favorite places to go on the weekend. I feel a tug on my heart, wishing she were still alive.
“Thanks, Addi.” He squeezes my hand before letting go. “Enjoy the rest of your day and don’t forget—Cole’s an amazing guy once you let him in. Don’t be afraid, or you’ll miss out.”
His words ring in my head. Don’t be afraid, or you’ll miss out.
I never thought of it that way. But it’s true. Fear can hold us back from so many things.
So many things we’ll never try or risk because we’re afraid to.
I wave to Gramps and head back to my spot, the need to paint suddenly strong. I need to finish my sketch first.
All this information Gramps laid on me has me lost and confused. I want nothing more than to sleep all this away. Wake me when it’s over.
I stare out at the water, hoping for an answer, any answer. Should I move then? Take the risk? I can’t let myself be stopped because of fear. I need to take fear by the balls and jump headfirst. This could be a job opportunity of a lifetime. Who am I to say no to that?
But Cole, the beach, your home ...
Cole shouldn’t factor in.
But he does.He’s here.
It’s just past eight a.m., and I’ve done enough thinking today. I shove my earbuds in my ears, flick on some music, and begin to sketch, losing myself in my artwork.
* * *
Cole
I pace back and forth in front of the cherry red door, my hands shoved deep in my pockets.
You can do this. Knock. Just knock.
I want to leave. I want to run far away. Second thoughts run through my mind on warp speed, convincing myself this was not a good idea.
Deep breaths, deep breaths.
This is a good idea. You’re doing it for closure, for yourself, for Liz, for her family. For everyone.
