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"Yes, Mom, I'm sorry to say but I had to cut that one short."
My mother gasped. "Why? What happened? Ed is such a nice fellow. So respectable, hard-working..."
I cut her off, already having heard her reasons Ed would make a great husband a hundred times this past week. "Mom, I'm sorry, but I'm not attracted to him."
"Emma!" Her voice was scolding now, as if I were in trouble, "You haven't even given him a chance!"
I sighed, resting my head on the steering wheel as I thought of another way to explain this to her without her mentioning those rules of hers. Which I knew was coming any second now. "I know when I'm attracted to someone and I wasn't attracted to Ed. I have to feel something towards the person in order to go on another date. What would be the point otherwise?"
"Emma, how many times do I have to tell you that attraction grows? It isn't something that is there instantly. You want that instant gratification, but that isn't what a marriage type of relationship is about. You learn to grow to love each other. I've told you, there is no such thing as insta-love. Long lasting love is based on trust, loyalty, communication, and hard work. Dedication to each other. Plus, you don't work with him and as long as you don't sleep with him too soon, you're golden."
I snorted at the thought of sleeping with him. Really? I had no desire to kiss him, never mind see his penis. My stomach rolled at the thought of the wet kiss he'd give me.
"Emma? Emma Russe, why aren't you believing me?"
"Because mother, I have followed these rules for years now. Years. And they've gotten me nowhere. I'm sick of these damned rules."
"You won't find a husband unless you stick to this. It isn't easy. But you need a quality man to take care of you and raise a family with."
"I know, Mom, I know." We said our goodbyes and hung up. I pulled out of the parking lot, heading back to my house, alone and sad. Dating didn't work for me. I wasn't sure it ever would.
