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Jane stands abruptly, her chair scraping the floor as it flies backwards. "I won't relax, Knox!" She paces the kitchen, her nervous habit coming out in full force as she kneads her fingers together. "This shit needs to stop! It's destroying Mom and it's destroying our family."
I reach out and cover my mom's hand with my own. I give her a squeeze, hoping to offer her some strength. She was always there for me when I was growing up, whether it be a bad day, or an embarrassing one, or even the great days—she'd be sitting at the kitchen island with a fresh plate of cookies and a glass of fresh milk.
A few tears slip down her cheek. I push the anger down, swallowing it whole. Seeing my mother hurting is beyond frustrating. But, there's no need for me getting pissed off, too.
"I know, but it's not easy. Ethan has to commit to getting well. It's an everyday battle and he's going to struggle like hell. He can do it. Many have. Getting pissed about it doesn't help." I say, hoping Jane listens.
Jane sits, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "This black cloud has been blanketing our family for a few years now. I want it over with. He needs tough love." She leans forward, pressing her hands on top of mom's. "Mom, listen to me. Please."
Our mom looks toward Jane as her face falls. Worry lines etch across her face, more developing as Ethan sinks deeper.
"I've seen shows on addiction. I've read about it. Tough love is usually the only type of love that works with addicts. They continue to go back to their loved ones, hoping they help. If they don't, they steal. We think it's better he comes to us instead of stealing, but then again we're enabling him."
Ma shakes her head as she processes everything Jane said. "So, then what? He steals?"
"Jane, addiction isn't that easy. It's not so cut and dry. What you've said is true, but life doesn't always work out the way it should. And, people struggle. As does the family."
Jane sighs. "He needs to take responsibility for his own actions. He goes to jail, like he did now, and gets himself clean. When he gets out, if he messes up again, then he's back in. Don't you think he'll eventually get tired of it? Who would want to stay in jail?"
"I understand what you're saying, Jane, but Ethan isn't thinking about staying in jail. He's only thinking about his next fix."
This is the first time Ethan is actually serving more than a couple of days behind bars. Usually he's out within a couple of days, and if he's not getting money off of one of us, he steals. He's pretty slick in his ways in that he doesn't get caught right away.
After a warrant was out for a week, he got caught. Now he has to serve time. The warrants, along with the big crime spree, has him staying in jail until he's sentenced. At least this time, he can become cleaner for a longer period of time.
Doesn't mean he will stay clean, but we can only hope.
"He needs to serve his time and then move into a sober home or addiction program. Or, maybe even offer a deal for a lesser sentence. Who is the contact person for him?" I look towards my mom. "I'll reach out to them. Maybe I can pull a few strings and find him a bed somewhere."
"Oh, that would be wonderful." My mom stands and grabs her purse off the counter. She fishes through the items, muttering to herself. "Ah ha, here it is." She pulls out a business card and comes over to hand it to me.
A probation officer is listed with office hours contact information. "I'll see what I can do."
Jane comes over and slides one arm around our mom and the other around me. "I'm sorry. Let's hope he finally gets the help he needs."
