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My heart leapt in my chest, and I jerked my hand back as the door swung open violently, the warm summer breeze sweeping through the sleek strands of her ponytail as we both turned to see who was there.
Merrick stood in the doorway, his towering form taking up almost the entire opening, his legs spread as though he was blocking it—blocking her from running, I realized.
“What are you doing here?” he growled, his lips curling into a sneer as his dark-hazel eyes trained on Giana in a menacing glare. The moment we had was now shattered around us like the broken shards of our hearts, the cold hard weight of reality settling in its wake and sucking every particle of air from the room.
This was it, the moment of truth.
Chapter thirteen
Giana
Now
Iscannedthedrawingtaking in every single detail, the way the shading signified the light that had shone down on me that day, and the halo casting that light. My attention snagged on the two small devil horns that peaked out, almost unnoticeable through the wisps of hair from my messy bun. He captured the two sides of myself perfectly, the dark and the light, not separate but mixed and melded with each other.
I could be upset by the personification of myself as the devil, but I knew it had a deeper meaning. Sure, it was their nickname for me, but I could see the underlying grief I’d caused him had made him cast me in that role too. Pain sliced through my chest at that thought, at causing either him or Merrick any heartache, but a broken one was better than a silent, unmoving one.
My eyes trailed up his form, taking in how much he’d changed. He’d always been a few inches shorter, six-foot-two compared to Merrick’s six-foot-five frame, his muscles leaner than Merrick’s bulky form. He could fight but more often chose not to. The curve of his abs showed through his tight black shirt, highlighting how toned he’d become in the past six years. My Kellan—the one I used to snuggle with so often, now had a hard chiseled torso, but I had no doubt his embrace would be just as comforting as before. Drawn in by the only piece of ink visible beneath the collar of his shirt, I studied the lines wishing I could tear down the center of it to examine the intricate design in its entirety.
The curve of that line looked so similar though, so close to the picture in front of me. The part visible was the curve of the halo, but I couldn’t mistake it, not when I had just burned it into my brain. Despite everything that happened between us, he got my face—the very essence of me—tattooed on his chest, right over his heart it seemed. But was it because he still held some feelings for me, or was it a reminder to never let the devil into his heart again …?
My gaze drifted up to meet his, our eyes locking onto one another as though pulled by a magnetic force. His sable orbs bore into mine, and the world faded away from us. For a moment there was no Tommaso, no crime family controlling me, the town, the state, hell even half the country had disappeared. It was like no time had passed at all, like he saw every inch of me and knew my scars like the back of his own hand. There was so much fire left between us, so much to say, to explain. But I couldn’t wrap my head around any of it, I couldn’t voice a single syllable.
Fear churned in my stomach as the door crashed open, and I readied myself to jump in front of Kellan to shield him as best I could from Tommaso. But it wasn’t his menacing form shadowed in the doorway—no, it was the bulky, towering one of Merrick, glaring down at me as though I was the bane of his existence.Fuck, I have to get out of here.
I’d been so caught up in the moment between Kellan and me I hadn’t noticed his hand subtly reaching for my glasses, not until he snatched his hand back. That was close—too close and for all of our sakes I had to get out of here before they figured anything out. I hadn’t meant to stay here this long; I had no idea what time it was. Selfishly, I wanted more time soaking in Kellan’s reassuring presence, the sense of normalcy he’d attempted to create for me. I got so lost in what could’ve been, the fantasy of a life where my greatest worry was which incredible design Kellan was going to tattoo on me next, that I completely forgot about the threat my presence caused to them.
Now I’m not even sure if Kellan had wanted to spend the time with me or if he’d just been biding his time until Merrick came—letting him be the bad guy rather than telling me off himself. Well I already had enough of Merrick yelling at me the other night. And despite how horrible I felt for all the pain I’d caused them, I would kick his ass if he gripped my arms like that again, not after what Tommaso just did…
“What are you doing here?” Merrick sneered, his brows lowering into a glower. And I’d had enough—enough of these men playing games, trying to intimidate me, trick me or whatever else they were up to. The moment had been nice while it lasted but reality came sweeping back in like an icy wind, shocking me from my daydream. This was real life, and I had real problems I had to deal with, like how my very presence here was a threat to both of these men.
“I was just leaving,” I shot back. I was no one’s punching bag, not physically or verbally and the next person that took either one of those shots would get a fist to their ribs …Well, if it was Tommaso I might switch that out for a knife,I mused to myself, the thought lighting a spark of sadistic satisfaction in me.
I took a step forward, about to brush past him, but before I could take another, Kellan was there, his large palm cupping my shoulder and holding me back. The touch distracted me until the crash of the door against the frame and click of the lock had my gaze snapping back to Merrick. A protest was poised on my lips until a metallic clang cut me off. Kellan’s hand had slipped off my shoulder, and he was already over at the windows shutting the blinds. I hissed out a breath of irritation. It seemed both of them worked in tandem to trap me here and shutter out any spying eyes, forcing this confrontation that we all knew was long overdue.
“This isn’t funny, I have places to be,” I huffed out indignantly, pulling on the mask of who they were supposed to think I was now. I’d let it slip, both the other night with Merrick and here with Kellan today. The feelings I still held for them came bubbling up to the surface, muddling my mind and throwing me off kilter. But now especially, with the bruise on my upper cheek as evidence of what Tommaso had done, proof that all was not as it seemed, I couldn’t let my façade drop now. I had to make them think I was the cold unfeeling girl who left them six years ago and not the desperate woman who was trying to escape.
“Giana,” Kellan breathed, turning back from shuttering the last window. The space had been so bright just a moment ago, but the sudden shift to the thin streams of light filtering in through the cracks sent a chill running up my spine. Every time he said my name like that, both like no time had passed and like he was desperate to have it on his tongue again, made my heart splinter.
Fuck, I wanted to scream at him. Was that all he could say? Just repeat my name in that pleading tone that made my chest want to cave in, that made my legs want to buckle beneath me and stop being strong, at least for one minute. But I couldn’t—this was why I left in the first place, why I went with Tommaso and fell into this life where I numbed the pain of loss each day until it almost suffocated me, where the only pleasure I felt was with a man I swore I hated on top of me, making me forget just for a second I was frozen, trapped, suffocating …
I pulled in a ragged breath at that thought, reminding myself I could, that I was still here and I was going to get out.Never again,I promised myself. I wouldn’t let him touch me like that again, let myself slip into that place of complacency again. Not after what he did …
I pulled myself from that dark place, realizing both of their stares were hard and heavy on me, as though they sensed my mind had drifted off.
“I have to go,” I snapped, forcing some irritation into my tone. I didn’t want to go, not really, but I knew I couldn’t stay. “So get out of my way.”
“Why, you have to get to your engagement party?” Merrick sneered and Kellan sucked in a sharp breath from beside me. His jab sliced through me like a knife, but I didn’t let it show, pushing it far down to examine later along with the cold gleam in Merrick’s eyes. “Is that the real reason you came to the bar the other night, and why you came here today, to shove it in our faces?”
My hands clenched at my sides and I pinned him with the same hard glare he was giving me, though mine didn’t have quite the same effect with the glasses on. He was lashing out at me, regardless if he believed his own claims or not, he was in pain and throwing barbs at me to hurt me back. But I couldn’t rise to his baiting, I had to keep my irritation in check, because I couldn’t let anything slip.
“Believe what you want, Merrick. I don’t give a shit,” I gritted out. Lie—lie—lie. The truth was, I cared too much, but I couldn’t help it, I had to throw his words back at him, I had to make him believe I didn’t. I started forward again, attempting to shoulder him out of the way, but he stepped into my path, his chest puffing out in defiance, his muscles taut and poised to intercept me at a moment’s notice. “What the fuck are you going to do?” I spat, crossing my arms over my chest in frustration.
“I’ll throw your ass over my shoulder if I need to, but we’re long overdue for a chat. About six years, to be precise,” he snapped, his arms folding over his chest to mirror my own. “You at least owe us that much.”
“I don’t owe you anything,” I said with a derisive snort, venom leaking into my words. Not because guilt didn’t twist at my gut over what I’d done, but because of how blind he was—how well I’d apparently played my part that he couldn’t see past the betrayal. I’d set out for them to hate me, but at least a small part of me had hoped they might’ve seen through my cracks, that they would’ve known me better after all the years we’d spent together, that they’d be able to see this wasn’t me.
“I think you do,” Kellan said, stepping beside Merrick, both of their muscular forms now crowding the doorway. “After everything that happened, I think there’s a lot to discuss …” he trailed off letting the meaning of his words sink in. Memories of my eighteenth birthday flooded my mind, and I pushed them down, knowing I wouldn’t be able to keep my cool with both of them in front of me with that night playing like a movie before my eyes.
