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Scents, sounds, and sights were magnified, the beauty of nature bringing my calm to another level. Still, I ran. After about an hour, my legs growing tired, my breath coming in pants, I came across a small stream.
Padding over the rocks along the side of the shallow water, I dipped my muzzle and took a drink. Cool, fresh liquid soothed my throat. When I drank my fill, I picked my way across the stream to a tiny clearing where dappled sunlight reached a patch of thick grass. It looked soft and inviting. Scenting the area, detecting no signs that other creatures might be lurking nearby, I settled down and rested.
Finally at peace, my wolf dozed off, but even in sleep, dreams of Holden haunted me. In wolf form, my dreams were full of impressions, sensations, and images rather than thoughts. My wolf knew full well Holden was our mate and was frustrated with me running from it when I should have been overjoyed to find something so rare.
Along with frustration, my wolf projected sadness. But all mixed in was a yearning, a longing for something that might never be. I couldn’t shake that feeling when I awoke and shifted back to human form. Despite all the reasons we shouldn’t be together, the truth was I wanted him—desperately. I’d tried to ignore it, tried to fight and deny it.
But there had been something about him that drew me in, almost from the start. Now I knew what it was. What I didn’t know was what I should do about it.
I knew enough of pack history to know fated mates weren’t allowed when it came to the North American alpha. So, where did that leave us?
Holden had shown himself to be a true leader, loyal to his pack above all. He would choose his duty over anything, I was certain. Which meant he couldn’t choose me.
So, what was I supposed to do? Stick around and compete, only for him to choose someone else? Or even worse, earn a position on the council and have to watch my mate with another woman for the rest of my life. Would he try to keep me as his mistress? My stomach twisted. Hell no.
But could I really expect any other outcome? Was there a way for Holden and me to be together, for him to choose me in the Contention? The idea made my heart leap and my pulse race, even though I knew it wasn’t an option. I’d learned enough about the man since I’d been here to know he would do what he thought best for his pack.
Feeling sick over the thoughts, I shifted back to wolf form and made my way back toward the estate, though at a much slower pace. It was nearly lunchtime when I got back, but I wasn’t hungry, so I shifted, dressed, and headed out along the winding garden path.
Almost of their own accord, I found my feet following a familiar route, one that passed by the fountain Holden and I had met at several times. My heart skipped a beat when I saw a familiar golden-brown head sitting on the edge of the stone.
Even from far away, it was as if he sensed me, his head lifting and turning in my direction. His dark eyes flared, smoldering with an intensity I could feel from hundreds of feet away.
My gaze snapped to his left as movement drew my attention.
Sydnee.
She was sitting next to him on the fountain, chattering away. Heat spread over my chest, up my neck to my face, unfamiliar jealousy ripping through me so fast I staggered back a step.
Holden looked like he was about to stand, to call out my name, but I quickly shook my head and spun, racing back to the estate and up to my room.
What had that been about? One more reason why this Contention wasn’t going to work—now that I’d recognized what this was between us and was no longer denying that I wanted him in a way I refused to admit before—how was I supposed to watch him with these other women?
I ran a bath, the water extra hot, needing to soak my sore muscles now that the shift had healed my wounds enough to allow, though I kept my hands out of the water just to be safe. I soaked until my body was utterly waterlogged, then I dragged myself from the bath and wrapped myself in a robe.
It seemed that the shifting, the run, and the bath did the trick because once I sank onto my bed, I fell asleep immediately. It was a deep, dreamless sleep this time, and when I awoke, I felt much more like myself.
The golden glow of the setting sun shone through my windows, and I stared at the forest, the heaviness of the day still weighing on me.
Now what?
One glance at the clock told me dinner would be soon. My stomach rumbled—I hadn’t eaten all day. I could dress and go to dinner with the other girls, but that sounded like a terrible idea. Since it was an off day and we got to choose how to spend it, I’d be having dinner in my room.
My thoughts drifted to Jessica as I pulled on a pair of soft jeans and an oversized sweater. Had it only been yesterday that I urged her to victory in the maze, earning her a date with Holden?
That date had been scheduled for tonight. So far, I’d gone about my day without having to see or speak to anyone, but I couldn’t help feeling a bit lonely as I got dressed.
Jessica was the only person here who I’d consider a friend. Now I didn’t know if I could trust her at all. Jealousy reared up once more, and I growled in frustration. I certainly couldn’t be feeling like this all the time. Yet I feared it’s exactly what the Contention was going to be for me now. One big struggle with controlling my emotions—and my wolf—where Holden was concerned.
I glanced at the clock again. Most of the evening dates had begun promptly at seven. Jessica was probably getting ready for her date right now.
Before I had time to reconsider, I slipped my shoes on and headed out into the hallway, crossing to the east wing where Jessica’s room was located.
When she opened the door after I knocked, her eyes went wide, and she flung her arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug.
“Oh my god, Kayden.” Her gaze was full of concern. “Are you okay? I mean, they said you were, but I haven’t seen you all day, and Faye wouldn’t tell me where your new room is, just saying you needed to rest.”
She carefully touched my arm and pulled me into her room. I took a deep breath, so conflicted now. This was exactly why I didn’t want to fall for Holden. It was just one big mess.
