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“You look nice,” I managed to say, eyeing her warily. She had on a knee-length A-line dress in white that highlighted her curves in a sexy, feminine way. She looked beautiful, actually, and I fought hard to keep the jealousy at bay.
Jessica offered me a small smile and shrugged. “Thanks. I have my date with Holden tonight.”
I took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. “That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about?”
She furrowed her brow. “Oh, yeah?”
I cleared my throat and sat down on the edge of Jessica’s bed. No reason to beat around the bush. “I heard you two used to date. Is that true?”
Jessica blinked, her lips parting slightly. “Well, yes. It’s true.” She came to sit next to me on the bed, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth as she studied my expression. I didn’t know what I looked like, but her eyes widened slightly.
“Are you angry I didn’t tell you?”
I sat with that question for a moment, wanting to be truthful. “Yes,” I finally admitted. “It feels like something you should have told me, though. I feel like you lied, even if by omission. I don’t know what to believe anymore.”
“Oh, Kayden.” Her blue eyes glistened as she shook her head. “I’m so sorry. Maybe I should have told you. But I didn’t know who to trust here at first. And then I thought it might look bad, so I kept my mouth shut. If you want to know the truth, though, I’ll tell you everything—because there isn’t much to tell.”
“What do you mean?” I tried to keep my face blank, afraid my emotions might be written all over it. Since acknowledging Holden as my mate—even if only secretly in my mind—my feelings had been all over the place. I still hadn’t worked out exactly how I felt and had no idea when or if I would.
“We were very young. Teenagers, still. Holden was seventeen, and I was fourteen. I wouldn’t even call it dating. Our parents paired us for some events that year, probably hoping we’d hit it off. We never went out on a real date. Never even kissed.”
I looked at her sharply, but she looked like she was being perfectly honest. I was pretty good at reading people. Jessica was either a master of deception, or I’d blown this way out of proportion.
Maybe I could blame it on the crazy day I’d had yesterday—the turmoil of what Faye said about their dating, combined with thinking Holden had sent me a dismissal letter. But I knew the truth of it.
My reaction had been pure jealousy. Some part of me already knew Holden belonged to me—even if I hadn’t been able to understand. The mate bond was strong, looking back in hindsight. Every moment we’d shared, every reaction I’d had to him, now made so much more sense in light of us being mates.
“Kayden?”
I glanced up, realizing I’d gotten lost in my thoughts. “Sorry.” I shook my head. “I believe you.”
Jessica’s shoulders slumped with relief. “Good. Because I would never trick you like that on purpose.”
I nodded, standing, and Jessica followed suit, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me into a gentle hug. It was all I could do not to break down in tears at the much-needed comfort. I’d thought I’d lost my only friend here, and after everything I’d been through, it felt good to know I wasn’t alone.
“I’ll let you finish getting ready,” I told her. “We can talk later.” I wasn’t sure I wanted to stick around and watch her get all dolled up for my mate.
Clenching my jaw at the unwelcome thought—I wasn’t sure how I felt about this new barrage of feelings concerning Holden—I walked toward the door. “I hope you have a nice time.”
“Thanks,” she called after me. “And Kayden?”
I turned, forcing a smile. “Yes?”
“I’m sorry again for not telling you. I hope I haven’t ruined your trust.”
“No,” I replied with a shake of my head. “You haven’t.”
I found that I meant the words, but as I left Jessica’s room, I decided maybe I’d join the others for dinner after all. Otherwise, I might be spending the next few hours wondering just what Holden and Jessica were up to on their date. The more I could quench this jealousy that had to be coming from my wolf’s attachment to our mate, the better.
Luckily, Sydnee was absent from the dining hall. Brooklyn and Aubrey were sitting together, so I joined them, hoping Brooklyn’s incessant chatter would at least keep my mind occupied. Afterward, I walked in one of the many gardens I’d yet to explore.
Now that I’d cleared things up with Jessica, the problem of what to do about Holden weighed heavy on my mind. I’d have to see him again soon and talk to him. But what would I say?
What did I want?
Honestly, I didn’t have an answer for that. My wolf insisted we wanted Holden, but the more I thought about it, the more impossible it seemed. Was I setting myself up for heartbreak? Probably.
The thought didn’t sit well, and I wandered the gardens for a while, trying to come to terms with the fact that we were mates without the pressure of what I should do about it. Perhaps the best thing to do right now was nothing at all, to wait until Holden and I had a chance to talk.
