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“Too soon for my liking.”
No sooner do the words leave my mouth do I hear a second car pull up out front. A quick glance out the window confirms my suspicions. “Speak of the devil,” I mutter.
“I’m sure he’s not that bad.”
All Alejandro knows is what I’ve told him about Mark, which is all pretty amicable, aside from the lying and cheating and his lax interest in his own kids. I try very hard to keep whatever drama there is between Mark and me out of my relationship with Alejandro. I save that for my late-night chats with Jean.
“Are you nervous?” I ask him as we wait for Mark’s knock on the door.
“Maybe a little,” he admits, smoothing a hand over my stomach, but when I look at him, he’s solid, steady on his feet and his eyes are soft on me. He’s prepared to be my rock. God, I love him.
“Kids,” I call up the stairs, “time to come down!”
I don’t wait for their reply, hoping they’ve heard me because I’ve just heard Mark knocking and I refuse to leave Alejandro alone with him.
Answering the door about gives me a heart attack. I don’t know how to merge my past and present. It’s not something I ever thought I’d have to do, but it has to be done. There’s no way out of it, and it’s the only way forward.
The only good thing about this is that Mark looks a little green around the gills, so he’s even more nervous than we are. Funnily enough, that settles me down a bit.
“Hey,” I say as he steps inside.
“Hey, how’s it going,” he says as his eyes dart around, looking beyond me. I know the instant he sees Alejandro, because there’s a sudden stillness about him that’s unsettling. I think he’s in shock, and I almost feel bad for him.
“Um…Mark, this is my boyfriend, Alejandro.” I step back and to the side, allowing space for Alejandro to join us. Alejandro takes his place at my side, aligning himself with me, and reaches out a hand. “Alejandro, this is Mark.”
“Hi.” Alejandro is the first to speak, and despite his confession of being nervous, he portrays nothing but confidence.
“Hi. Nice to meet you,” Mark says stiffly as he accepts Alejandro’s hand and shakes it briefly. His gaze darts to me and back to him. “Probably about time though,” he says with a chuckle. “I was starting to think you weren’t real.”
I glare at him. He’s not been in the house for two minutes and he’s already sticking his foot in his mouth. But that’s how Mark has always been. He’s either too quiet, waiting for me to take the lead, or he’s running off at the jaw about nothing and everything.
“Well, you can see that he is,” I say, casually smoothing my hand over my rounded belly. “I’m not sure I’m a candidate for Immaculate Conception.”
“Well, yeah, there’s that.” Again, Mark laughs.
I can’t help looking at him and wondering what I saw in him all these years. Why did I ever think that he was anything special? A man who consistently disrespected me and our children, our marriage and family. A man who is so disloyal as to never have had any concept of loyalty at all. Worse, though, is that I actually pity him, because underneath it all, I can see that he’s a miserable soul whose worst crime is to himself. He’s unhappy, insecure, and completely lost and he doesn’t even realize it. This is what I’ve come to realize is at the base of it all, the reason he’s a liar and a cheat.
And there is absolutely nothing I or anyone can do to help him.
I don’t want to either.
With these two men standing before me, I can see the differences plain as day—and there are many. The biggest and brightest, though, is only one real man is here, and that’s Alejandro.
He’s out of his element, the youngest of the adults under this roof, but he’s by far the most driven, most successful, and most confident. That is what makes him so attractive to me. It’s his many layers, that quiet confidence, the strength in his silence.
He stands out. He’s my bright spot in the midst of all the dark.
“So, what do you do?” Mark asks.
Alejandro briefly explains that he’s in construction and what all that entails. Mark then states that he’s in retail, and again, the differences are stark. Alejandro is a man’s man, working with his hands and getting dirty for a living. Mark tells others what to do and mostly stands around texting when nobody’s looking.
When the kids finally make an appearance, I’m grateful for the distraction. I think we all are. Mark turns his focus on them and gives each a hug, asking how they’re doing and such. My youngest comes over and wraps her arms around my waist, hanging off me like a barnacle.
“So, when are we going to eat?” my son asks. Typical for a teenage boy, I guess.
“We can head out now,” Mark says, then looks to me in askance. “If you don’t mind?”
I shrug and smile. “It’s fine with me.”
Mark is planning to take them to dinner tonight as part of their visit, which is the perfect reprieve after this meeting. Again, I’m glad for the distraction.
Mark looks relieved. “Okay, cool. Put your shoes on, guys. I’ll meet you outside.” He’s quick to say goodbye and then he’s out the door so fast, I’m surprised he didn’t leave a vapor trail.
Kissing the kids goodbye, I remind them to behave and assure them I’ll be waiting for them to return. They say a quick goodbye to Alejandro and me and then they’re gone.
I stand in the doorway and wave, waiting until they’re out of sight before closing it. Turning to face Alejandro, I bite my bottom lip, taking a moment to soak him in, and then say, “I thought they’d never leave.”
