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The last thing she wanted to imagine was walking out of this place, walking away from him. Facing her life back in London without him. A life that had never looked emptier than it did in this moment.
A knock tapped on the door and before she could turn from the fire, Evan’s head poked into the room. Seeing her in his robe, he stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. He’d changed into a new lawn shirt and waistcoat, but hadn’t bothered with a coat.
“Good, your cheeks have color in them, but was the food not to your liking?” His left forefinger pointed toward the table.
She glanced at her half-eaten plate ofroasted beef, beans and seared red potatoes asshe stepped past the wingback chairs facing the fire and stopped a distance away from him, her fingers playing with the comb in her hands. “It was good, but I couldn’t eat much.”
“Aye.”
He silently moved another step deeper into the room, his right hand folding in and out of a fist.
Her gaze lifted, staring at him, watching the terse line of his mouth.
Here it came. The end.
She filled her lungs, every muscle in her body tensing, steeling against the blow. She just had to hold on. Not argue. Keep her dignity intact for it was the only thing she had left to hold onto.
Please. Just the small grace of dignity. She couldn’t beg, though she could already feel her knees wavering, starting to sink to the floor.
He opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “Juliet, I cannot say how sorry I am. I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner, what Gilroy manifested. I’m sorry I couldn’t see what he was. I’m sorry I couldn’t—wouldn’t—listen to what you were trying to tell me.”
Her body swayed, his words not filtering into her mind quick enough. One blink. Two.
He was sorry?
This wasn’t how the end was supposed to happen. He wasn’t supposed to make her want him even more with apologies and graciousness.
She gave herself a slight shake and took a deep breath, her stare landing at the tips of his well-worn black boots. “I know the place you were at—your past had built up so far and so wide about you it was hard to see out beyond the walls—the muck—of it.”
His shoulders lifted, his head shaking. “But I needed to see past the muck of it. Needed to believe you when ye were telling me the truth. I failed at that.”
A tremble flooded her body that she couldn’t control, and her eyes lifted, meeting his. “Swear to me that if I ever have to tell you something like that again, that you will listen.”
“Aye. I only make a mistake like that once. You are the one that I will listen to, believe in. No matter what is around us.” His words vibrated into the room, making the hairs along the back of her neck stand on end.
An oath if she’d ever heard one. An oath to her. And this man was a champion at holding to oaths.
Not only that, he’d said the word “us,” like it wasn’t even a question in his mind where he belonged, where she belonged.
His gaze pierced her, the steel of his grey eyes unsettling her like it never had before. But she held his stare, the devil himself not able to turn her head away from him.
He took a step closer, then another. One final step and he was only a hand away, his air invading her space.
How was it possible that he looked even more serious, more dire than when he’d stepped into the room?
“Words are not my friend, you know that about me. So you must forgive me.” He leaned ever so slightly down to her, the blue flecks in his eyes dancing on fire. “I love you, Juliet, and you love me.”
Her head snapped back at the abrupt, sparse words. “I don’t know that is true.”
His right hand lifted, sliding in along her neck as his fingers buried into the thick of her hair. “Except ye do, lass. You love me. And I sure as hell ken my own mind on loving you.”
The slightest exhale puffed out of her parted lips.
She did love him.
Her head couldn’t fight this battle any longer. Couldn’t fight her heart on the matter. When Gilroy’s dagger was aimed at Evan’s face, she would have done anything—anything to save him. Trade her soul to the devil. Take every ounce of pain Gilroy wanted to impart. Dive under the blade herself.
This was a love she’d never experienced before. This was her soul, outside of her body, attached to this man, feeling everything he did, wanting everything he did, needing everything about him.
