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Because right now, it was just irritating.
She moved toward the door. She’d barely taken five steps before Alaric stepped in front of her.
“Clara.”
Slowly, she looked up. Her gaze landed on his lips as her irritation melted away. Did he want to kiss her again? The thought left butterflies dancing in her stomach despite her frustration, anticipatory flutters mixed with a nervous quivering of what a kiss would mean. A gesture to seal the deal? A premonition of the intimacy to come? He’d certainly made his preferences for both fidelity and physical affection clear yesterday. But she thought she’d have time, time to get used to the idea of being married again, of being married to herboss, before they would touch again.
Because deep down, if she was being honest with herself, it hadn’t just been her failed marriage to Miles or the circumstances around their child being conceived that had held her back from saying yes. No, it was how Alaric had made her feel when they’d made love, how sexy and beautiful and alive he’d made her feel as she’d come apart in his arms. The sensations had been so intense, so raw, had made her feel like her heart had been laid bare for him to see every bit of herself. Something she’d never experienced before, and certainly not one she had ever expected to experience with Alaric.
But to let someone who held so much power gain access to her body, let alone her heart, was terrifying. What if she couldn’t keep him at arm’s length? What if she made the same mistakes she had with Miles?
What if, what if, what if...?
“I’m very tired, Your Highness. Could we continue this discussion later?”
He knew she was lying. The man had a built-in lie detector, had used it to eject plenty of unscrupulous and deceitful business professionals, politicians and royals from various meetings over the years she’d worked for him. But right now, she didn’t care. She just wanted to get away, to be alone with her tumultuous thoughts.
His hand came up, his fingers settling lightly on her jaw. She inhaled sharply.
“If you call me Alaric.”
The smugness in his tone told her he knew exactly the kind of effect he was having on her, the heat that bloomed on her skin where his fingertips rested.
She narrowed her eyes. “Why?”
“I’m to be your husband. When we’re in private, using my given name is appropriate.”
“You’re not my husband yet.”
Something flashed in his eyes but disappeared before she could discern what it was.
“You said it once before.”
Her entire body flushed. She had said it more than once. Moaned it, borderline screamed it into his mouth as he’d sealed his lips over hers to smother her cry of ecstasy as he’d brought her to a level of exquisite pleasure she’d never experienced.
“I’d like to leave now, Alaric.”
No sooner had his name left her lips then he stepped back. Cool air brushed her skin before embarrassed heat replaced the warmth from his touch. He was much more in command of himself than she was.
The what-ifs grew stronger as she brushed past him. She had made it to the door, her hand reaching for the knob, when his voice rang out once more.
“Is there anything else you want to share with me before we make this official?”
Don’t panic. He can’t possibly know you were there that night. That Miles is dead because of you.
She looked over her shoulder at him as casually as she could manage, striving to keep her panic buried. Part of her wanted nothing more than to confide in him, to finally unburden herself. Logically, she knew she hadn’t intended for Miles to get hurt, let alone die.
But logic didn’t banish her guilt. She had been the one to let him drive, who had let her embarrassment when he’d slapped her overcome common sense as he’d gotten behind the wheel and she’d climbed in the car with him. And ultimately it had been her actions that had led to the car accident that had claimed his life. She’d been weak when she needed to be strong. Because of that moment of weakness, a man was dead, a son buried in the ground. No matter how much she loathed Temperance and Stanley Clemont, their grief had been real.
The truth had stayed buried this long, survived Alaric’s notoriously in-depth background checks and the lens of the paparazzi so frequently fixed on Linnaea’s royal family. There was nothing to gain by sharing it now.
Nothing to gain and everything to lose.
“No.” She forced a smile to her face. “Nothing.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
THEDAYOFher wedding dawned bright and beautiful. Sapphire-blue sky, glittering white snow, and a lull in the brisk winter wind that had whipped down from the mountains and shrieked its way through the castle gardens the past few days.
