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“From the grave?” I couldn’t help but prompt.
She turned off the burner and carefully slid the spatula under the omelet before flipping it onto a plate. “Yep. I’m not above a little guilt. I’m dying, and I know you’ll miss me.”
Those words felt like a lance through my heart, the pain sharp. I took a breath, nodding.
“So be a smart man and listen to me. Figure out your shit and let yourself love someone or, more specifically, love Alice. I know you already love her, but you’re getting in your own way.” She clucked as she handed me the plate. “Now, go sit down and eat.”
ChapterThirty-Eight
Jonah
I finished showering and got dressed. We’d just returned from dealing with a late-season fire. Like most of the West, Alaska was getting drier by the year, so the fire season stretched longer. In this case, some hikers had thought it was safe to camp and have a fire in an area where campfires weren’t allowed. Shocker, but they started a forest fire.
Fortunately, an early snow moved in and helped us tamp it out quickly. It had been a tiring few days, and we had to camp in the cold.
I was just sitting down on the bench to lace up my boots when Graham appeared in the doorway to the locker room.
“Oh good, you’re still here,” he began.
“What’s up?”
“Holly called from the hospital. Your grandmother’s there.”
My stomach felt hollow. “Oh shit,” I muttered. I quickly laced my boots and stood, grabbing my jacket out of my locker and pocketing my keys. “Did she tell you anything else?” I asked as I walked toward the doorway.
Graham nodded. “She’s stable, but Holly thought you’d want to know right away. She asked if your parents were back yet,” he added as he turned and walked with me down the hallway toward the back door that led to the parking area.
I glanced at my watch. “They’re due in tomorrow morning. I’ll call them on my way over to the hospital.”
“Do you want company?” he asked as he held the door open for me.
I paused, glancing over at him. “No, but thanks.”
Graham dipped his chin in acknowledgment. “Call or text if you need anything.”
I hustled over to my truck, definitely speeding on my way over. Fortunately, it was a short distance to the hospital, and I knew every cop in this town. The police shared the other half of our station, so we saw each other often. They might pull me over, but I figured they’d let it slide if they knew I was on the way to see my grandmother.
Alice feathered along the edges of my thoughts before strolling boldly in. I missed her. I still hadn’t acted on my grandmother’s comments last week. My heart rolled in an unsteady beat. I knew my grandmother was right. I did love Alice. It’s just —
It’s just, what?my critical mind queried sharply.
You’re scared.
My thoughts flashed to the day of the shooting. The blood smeared on the floor, and all my thoughts centered on keeping the kids safe. Through the rush of adrenaline and trying to bottle my grief down with four of them dying right in front of me and then learning Tina had died at the very start. She was the first victim, according to the police. The only blessing I could dredge out of that brutal, devastating detail was that she hadn’t had to endure it and worry.
I was cut up inside over her death and the kids dying. Tina and I had gone on a whopping total of four dates at that point. I’d liked her and thought maybe it would go somewhere. Then like the cut of a blade slicing through time, she was dead.
Alice is alive, a voice I rarely listened to chimed in, the tone a deep baritone.
My heart kept on beating. I felt like I was falling inside—as if I’d stumbled over the edge of a cliff and hurtled through the air. I didn’t know what could break my fall.
No matter what, you already love her. You can’t undo that.
I gave my head a hard shake and brought my thoughts back to Gram as I turned onto the road that led to the hospital. Of course, all thoughts that led to Gram also led to Alice because I knew exactly what Gram thought. She thought I was being a coward, even if she didn’t say it like that.
Well, she has a point,my critical side offered up with a shrug.
My chest felt tight as if there were a band around it. I thought about Graham asking if I wanted company. The only company I wanted was Alice.
